


Once Upon an Itervention

by herblondetoy



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Detox, Drug Use, Other, Past Abuse, Rehabilitation, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:48:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23865526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herblondetoy/pseuds/herblondetoy
Summary: Emma has turned to drugs and loves how they make her feel numb to everything. Henry can't stand it anymore and talks Regina into helping. They have an intervention, but that's just the beginning. Can Regina stay strong and help Emma or will Emma give into her demons and go back to the drugs? *Triggers for drug use, sexual abuse, general abuse* *slow burn SQ*
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
Comments: 17
Kudos: 59





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I've had this idea in my head for a while, but honestly didn't know if anyone would be interested. Turns out, there is interest! It's my day off and I have time, so Alice, this is for you! I don't know how long it will be and as of now, I don't even have the whole thing planned out. I'm just going to write what I can, when I can. I am not under quarantine because I have a job in the healthcare, so I'm a needed employee, therefore, I may only be able to write on my few days off.
> 
> ***TRIGGER WARNING* This is a story about drug use. I don't want to have to put this at the beginning of each chapter. Mentions of Drug use, sexual abuse, rape, general abuse***
> 
> *one last note* This is eventual SQ, but issues need to be worked out first. Also, some chapters may be shorter than others. I'm not sure yet.

_**Read~Enjoy~Review** _

**Chapter 1**

**Part 1-It's Time**

The house was a disaster of clothes, dishes, and general garbage laying all over it, but Emma couldn't be bothered. She slipped her boots off and plopped on her sofa, using her magic to turn on one of the lights in the living room. She sighed as she went through the preparation of getting that fix she desperately needed, his words still going through her mind. _"Some Savior you are, Swan, can't even save yourself."_

He was right, of course, but she didn't want to hear it then from him or now in her head. Things were good at first, even if she was never truly in love with him, they had good times. Then, he got into drugs and turned mean while she tried to help him. She couldn't, and ended up joining him in his escape from the world and ended up loving it. All the unresolved issues from her past would melt away and the chemicals that took their place felt better than anything else ever had. It started small with pot and then crack, ecstasy and other drugs she could have quit. However, no matter how many promises to herself she made, she tried heroine and was instantly addicted. She drew the line at Meth, but he didn't, he loved it and then he was gone. He told her he wanted to travel, she wanted to stay, so he left on his ship and she was alone. No, not alone. She had her new friends. Her spoon, needle and powder were all she needed now.

Her family knew, of course they did, but she stopped seeing them long ago. She couldn't take their judgment and their accusing eyes. She couldn't take the guilt she felt when she saw her son or her baby brother. She couldn't quit for them either, so she stopped trying. She quit her job, quit going out, and spent her time either getting high or searching for more. Who knew there were dealers here in Storybrooke? Not many, but Emma found them and Emma did whatever she could to get her hands on the powder. Things she was so ashamed of, things she swore she'd never do were now things she did every day. Her parents cut her off financially and she never had anything of value, so really, her body was all she had to sell.

"Don't think about that Swan. Don't go there." She said to herself as she tightened the elastic around her arm, flicking at her vein to try and get it to stand out. She took the needle, filled it and tapped out the air bubbles before plunging it into her blue vein. Green eyes closed as the chemicals once again took over her body. She pulled the needle out, undid the elastic band and laid back on the sofa, letting the high take her away again.

"She's not answering again." Henry said with a huff as he jammed his phone back into his pocket. "I'm worried, mom. I have to go see her."

Regina sighed, a familiar headache forming behind her eyes; a headache that was always caused by the blonde. "Henry, I've told you that I don't want you over there with her alone. I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be mean, but you don't need to be around her when she's like that."

"But she's always like that!" He said, tears in his eyes. "I don't understand what happened. I don't get why she's doing this to herself and she won't tell me!" Sure, he may be sixteen and knew about the ways of the world, but his mother was his hero and he hated seeing her now be an addict. He wiped at his eyes angrily. "Doesn't she get that we love her? She can come to Gramps and Grams for help, hell she can even come to you." He said and sighed. "I miss her. I miss my happy, fun, slightly idiotic mom."

Regina gave a sad smile and pulled him into her arms. "We all do, Henry. I'm so sorry."

"We have to help her, mom. We have to show her that we're still here."

Regina swallowed the lump in her throat and let out a sigh. Her son was right and it was past time for them to do this. "I'll talk to your grandparents."

"Really?" He asked, lifting his head. "You'll help? How?"

"Henry, I will not use magic. I can't magically cure her or she'll just go back to it. I'll talk to your grandparents about an intervention. Emma needs to know that we love her but that this cannot continue. I think if we get enough people who are close to her, maybe she will listen."

"Can I be there?"

"I think you need to be there, Henry. You're honestly the only one I can see her listening to, but you have to be honest. You can't be scared of hurting her; you have to tell her how you feel in all this."

Henry nodded. "I know, mom. I've read about interventions. I'm going to go start working on what I'm going to say."

"Henry, I don't know if her parents will even agree to this or when it will be."

"They will. They want to help her too." He said and rushed to his room.

Regina sighed and looked at her phone wondering, not for the first time, if all this could have been prevented had she just swallowed her pride and told Emma how she felt so long ago. She couldn't think about that now. Now, it was time to think of Emma. She pressed her screen and waited as the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Snow, hi. It's Regina. How are you?"

There was a heavy sigh and then an answer. "I'm okay." Snow's usual perky, upbeat voice sounded so sad and defeated.

"I'm calling about Emma."

"Oh gods, is everything okay? Is she okay?" Instantly, Regina felt terrible for starting off that way. Snow literally waited every day for her phone to ring and for the person to deliver bad news about her daughter.

"It's not like that. I mean, I think she's okay, but I'm not calling with an update. Snow, I think it's time we intervene. I think we need to do an intervention. Henry can't take much more and honestly, neither can I. I can only imagine how you and David are doing and she needs to see what she's doing. That may sound harsh but…"

"But it's true. You're right." Snow sighed again. "I didn't want it to come to this because I know she'll see it as another form of rejection, but I don't know what else to do and if something did happen to her and we didn't try one last time, I'd feel so damn guilty. She's not coming around anymore though; I don't know how we'd get her to go anywhere."

"Henry." Regina said with a sigh. "I hate using him, but she'll go anywhere for him still. I think we need to talk to Archie and figure out who all we want there. You and David, obviously, Henry wants to be there and I'd like to be there if that's okay."

"Yes, of course. I think it's important you're there. You two have come so far and you do mean a lot to her. I'll talk to Ruby and Granny as well as I think they mean a lot to Emma too."

"Yes, along with Mal and Lilly." Now that the realms were united, Maleficent and Lilly had become part of their little unit. "I think Zelena would help out too."

"Yes, can you talk to those three? Or should we talk to Archie first?"

"I'll talk to them because I think they should know. It's very important that Emma not find out though."

"I agree. I'll call Archie and get back to you. I'm just a bit worried about what happens afterwards though. We don't have a rehab center here and I don't know if she'd go anywhere because she wouldn't be able to be honest about anything without giving our secret away."

Regina hadn't thought about that. "You're right. I mean, you and David have Neal and while Emma is your daughter, you can't put him aside for her. She…she could always stay here if you would take Henry for a while? I can take time off and work from home and watch over her. I'll talk to the hospital and get a nurse to come if medical attention is needed and I'll pay Archie double to come see her."

"Oh, Regina, we'll pay for anything, but if you would really not mind, it would make us feel so much better about this."

Regina gave a nod. "Then it's a plan. Talk to Archie and see if he can help with this."

They said their good byes and Regina sighed before pouring herself some lemonade and calling Maleficent. They talked for a while and both Mal and Lilly agreed that they would do whatever they could to help. Zelena felt the same and agreed to help out. Now, Regina could just wait until Snow called and told her the plan.

The call came about an hour later as Regina was finishing cleaning up dinner.

"Regina, hi. I talked to Archie and he'd like to meet with us first, then the group and then do the intervention. He just wants to make sure we're all aware of what could happen and all that. Do you mind bringing Henry in about an hour to Archie's office?"

"We'll be there."

"Regina? Thank you."

Regina smiled softly. "You're welcome. Let's get our Emma back."

**Part 2-Pre-Intervention**

Regina felt nervous as she parked her car and undid her seatbelt. She looked over at her son and put her hand on his. "Are you sure you're okay with this? We could try without you."

"No, Mom. I want to do this. I love you all, but I think you all know she may listen to you, but she'll listen more to me. At least, I hope she will."

Regina ran her fingers through Henry's hair, loving him for being so strong, but hating that he had to do this. "I hope so too, Henry. I really do."

They went to Archie's office and saw that Snow and David were there already. Snow came over and hugged Henry before hugging Regina. "Thanks for coming guys. Thank you for helping us."

"It's no problem." Regina stated, going and sitting on a chair.

The others sat on the sofa, Henry in the middle and all lost in their own thoughts. David cleared his throat. "We should have done this a long time ago. We should have thought of this, not Regina. No offense." He added. "I feel like the worst father in the world."

Before Regina could say anything, Archie came in and closed the door. "Those thoughts, David, are for another session that I highly recommend you schedule, but this has to be about Emma. You called me to help Emma, and that is who we have to focus on." He sat down and handed them each a folder. "This has information about interventions. Different scenarios, though each one is different. It also has some guidelines in letters I'd like for you all to write and then read to Emma on the big day. The letters need to be honest and need to come from your hearts, but please keep Emma in the forefront of your thoughts. Going on and on about how guilty you feel won't help her at all. It could, in fact, give her ammunition in blaming you instead of herself. _She_ needs to feel the guilt; _she_ needs to know how she's affecting you. Be brutally honest and don't be afraid of hurting her. This is your time to tell her how her actions hurt you. There are sample letters in there as well to help you with yours. Henry, I hate to tell you this, but I honestly feel that yours will be the most important, therefore we'll have you either go last, or if it seems she's going to leave, then you will read yours. I'll talk more about this at the group meeting, but as you four are her 'core' supporters, I felt I'd touch on this with you as well." He sighed and took his glasses off, rubbing at his nose. "I understand we've decided not to have her go away for rehab. Usually that is important, but being this town must be kept a secret, I do understand that won't work. Regina, I understand you've agreed to her staying with you?"

Regina gave a nod, swallowing. "Yes."

"You do understand you have to be strict? It's basically putting her on house arrest. She can't leave, can't have people over, I don't want her on social media or any devices for at least 90 days. Of course, as we go, we can discuss visits and sessions and all that, but especially through detox, she cannot have any other contact."

"Yes, I understand. Henry will stay between his grandparents and my sister. I will be putting magical spells around whichever home she feels more comfortable being in so no one can leave or enter without me knowing. Maleficent will take over mayoral duties for now, and I've already hired a home health nurse who specializes in withdrawal. Something I had no idea we even had here, but am glad we do. She agreed to stay for the first 48 to 72 hours to be sure nothing is seriously wrong. I've familiarized myself with what will happen to Emma and Dr. Hopper, I'd prefer if we don't talk about that in front of Henry."

"Well I'm impressed. I wasn't sure if you fully understood the weight of this, but clearly you have. Good, that's really good, Regina. Emma's lucky to have family and friends like you all and it's time she realizes that."

They talked a bit more and then Ruby and Granny came in, followed by Maleficent, Lilly, and Zelena. Archie handed them a folder as well and went over what he'd already told the others.

"It's imperative that Emma not know about this before she arrives. Now, as you can see, my office is a bit small for this. Snow, David? Do you think Emma would come to your house if Henry asked her to?"

David looked at Snow and then at Henry. "Well, he could say that he's there alone and needs help with something. If she thinks he's alone, she'll come."

"Great. Then we'll all meet for about an hour and then have Henry call her. I suggest we do this on Saturday and that everyone block off and be ready for an emotional couple of hours. That's in two days. In the meantime, if anyone has any questions, please call me. I'm dedicating the next 30 days solely to Emma so I will be here for you as well."

Henry looked at him. "What if she says no?" He asked, his voice quiet and soft.

Archie sighed. "That's something we all have to think about. If she says no, she needs to know there will be consequences. Is anyone financially supporting her in any way?"

"We stopped giving her money a month ago." Snow said. "However, we do pay for her phone bill and utilities."

"Then that stops if she says no."

"If she says no, I can't continue to be friends with her." Lilly said sadly. "I can't be around that and I can't see her do this to herself."

Mal put her hand on her daughters as Archie nodded. "I understand and I think that's good for you."

"I can't do that." Henry said. "I can't stop seeing her. She's my mom." He closed his eyes, trying to stop his tears as Snow put her arm around him.

"I'm not asking you to do that, Henry." Archie said softly. "I think for you, a consequence could be that you can't be around her alone. You could tell her that you refuse to see her while she's high. You don't have to stop seeing her all together."

Regina's heart broke for her son. "Henry, those can be my consequences to her if you don't want to give her an ultimatum. I think it's more important for you to just tell her how you feel."

Henry nodded and wiped his eyes. "She's gonna feel abandoned. I know we're doing the right thing, but you all know her. She's gonna feel like she did as a foster kid, like she messed up and we're abandoning her because of it."

"She is." Archie agreed. "And maybe that will be what she needs to stop. Because Henry, we're all here for her if she makes the choice of getting help. She has a choice, but we're doing all we can to have her pick the right one. This isn't going to be easy, Henry, and if you decide you don't want to be a part of it, we all understand. Your mother is lost right now, and she needs us to help her get found. The intervention is only the first step. This is honestly the easiest part as the hard work comes after. Your mom is in for a fight, but if she picks the route to get clean, she has an army behind her."

"I hope she does." He said softly.

"We all do, kid." Lilly said, giving him a small smile.

"Dr. Hopper, if we've gone through similar situations in the past, do you recommend we tell her about them?" Maleficent asked, keeping her eyes on him and not on everyone else looking at her. "Is this the time to say 'I've been where you are and it will get better'?"

Archie thought about that. "I think for this, you can say you've been there, but without going into detail. This is Emma's time, but words of encouragement will help. Now, further down the road in her sessions, if you're open to it, it would greatly benefit her to hear from you and hear your story. I think it's great if you're willing to share that one day so she knows she's not alone."

Mal gave a nod. "I will do that. Thank you."

They spoke a little longer before the time and day was fully set and they each started heading home. Henry was quiet on the way home and Regina was lost in her own thoughts as well. This had to work. It had to. They had to get Emma back.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Read~Enjoy~Review** _

**Chapter 2**

**The Intervention**

Snow paced back and forth as Henry tried calling his mother for the third time in the last hour. Everyone was there, everyone was ready, but they couldn't get ahold of Emma. Snow was worried and disappointed at the same time. Emma never ignored Henry, so either she was busy getting drugs, or high out of her mind on drugs and Snow didn't know which case would be better.

Henry groaned and shook his head. "Ma, call me, please." He again left on the voicemail and hung up. He looked at his grandma. "Sorry, she's not answering."

Snow gave him a sad smile. "You don't have to be sorry. We'll try again in fifteen minutes."

Emma opened her eyes after it was finished and tried not to think about what she was doing as she got up and reached for her clothes.

"You know, you're going to have to make it worth it soon." The man said. "You just lay there like you're dead and that isn't going to cut it anymore. If you want drugs for payment, I need to be fully satisfied."

Emma sighed and cracked her neck before getting dressed. "Okay fine, just give me the stuff."

He did so, holding her hand a moment. "I mean it, Swan. I don't want to do all the work all the time."

"Okay. Whatever, I get it." She said, pulling her hand away with the baggie safely in her fist.

She left the house and pulled her phone out of her pocket. "Shit." She said to herself, seeing all the missed calls from Henry. No time to shoot up. Instead, she went to her car, got out the foil and pipe and smoked a fourth of what was in the bag; just enough to take the edge off but not enough to be too high. She then hit redial on her phone and waited for her son to pick up. "Hey kid, sorry I didn't answer, I was in the middle of something."

"It's okay." He said, though it didn't sound okay. "Ma, can you come over to gram and gramps? They're gone and I wanted to help them by doing the dishes, but something happened in the dishwasher and there's water and bubbles everywhere."

Emma sighed, but smiled a bit. "Sure kid. I'll be right there." She hung up and took one last hit before starting her car and heading to her parents.

"She's on her way." Henry reported and the group collectively took a deep breath. This was happening and there was no turning back now.

Emma parked her car and ran her fingers through her messy, dead hair. She should have gone home and showered first, but she was already here. She got out and went to the door, opening it and peaking inside. "Henry?"

"In the living room." He called and stood up. He'd be the first to meet Emma and was ready for this.

Emma took her boots off and came into the house, heading towards the living room. She saw Henry, but she also saw a group of people sitting in a circle on chairs and the sofa. She froze. "What the hell is going on?" She looked at Henry, betrayal in her eyes. "You lied to me?"

"I had to." He said, his voice sounding small. "Ma, please come in. We want to help you." He said, going to her and hugging her.

Fuck. She wanted to run, to leave and go home and get blissfully high. She wanted to, but her son's arms around her kept her grounded. Deep inside, she knew it took such bravery for him to do this. She wrapped her arms around him and held him, just for a moment, trying to ground herself for what was to come. A fucking intervention. Henry backed up and took Emma's hand, leading her to the sofa where she sat down with him next to her. She couldn't look at anyone else, so she just looked down at her hands, still not believing this was happening. Were they going to send her away? Was that their whole plan? Make her feel guilty and send her away? Fuck, she deserved it she supposed as she did fuck everything up.

Henry put his hand over Emma's, sensing her thoughts. "Mom, we're here because we love you, not because we want to punish you."

Emma sniffed and took Henry's hand in hers, holding onto them as a way to keep her in the moment. She couldn't talk though, not yet.

"He's right, Emma." Archie said in a soft voice. "Everyone in this room loves you and wants the best for you. They want to help you. Are you willing to listen to them?"

Emma nodded, taking a tissue from whoever just handed her one and wiped at her eyes. "Yes."

Archie smiled and nodded to Maleficent. Mal cleared her throat and looked at her letter. "Emma, I'm here today because your actions have affected all of us." She started and then sighed. "I'm here because I care about you, dear." She said, her voice softer than anyone other than Lilly or Regina had ever heard. "You helped me find my baby girl. You broke the curse that kept me a dragon. Emma, you saved this whole town more than once and you matter." Her voice broke and she swallowed. "You're on a dark path right now, and I can tell you that I've been there. I've seen where that path can lead and I don't want that for you. You have so many people who love and care about you. You're too important for any of us to lose."

Emma sniffed, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. She didn't know how much of this she could hear, but she also knew she had to listen. She had to take her punishment.

"Emma, child, I love you as if you were my own grandbaby." Granny said. "I know I come off as harsh and hard, but you could always see right through that. You won a place in my heart and I miss the hell out of you, baby girl. I miss seeing your smiling face every morning for your usual bear claw. I miss making grilled cheese sandwiches for you. I even miss you taking Ruby off her job to just talk to her. Emma, please take this help we're offering you. You deserve it, baby. You've been alone for far too long and it's time to remind you that those days are over. You're no longer alone."

Ruby and Zelena made their speeches and Emma was on her fifth tissue, still not able to look up. "Emma, I've known you off and on since we were kids. I can't see you do this to yourself. It hurts so much to see what you've become. I get that your past was horrible, Emma, I know it was, but don't forget what you have now." Lilly sighed. "I love you, Emma, so much and I hope you'll take the help we're offering you."

"Or what, Lilly?" Emma asked quietly, sensing what the girl wasn't saying. "Or you won't be my friend? Like we're kids again? Fine. Don't be my friend. Why are you even here if that's how it is?" Emma honestly didn't know why she was lashing out at Lilly. Maybe it was because she was the only one so far that she felt she actually was close to, or maybe it was a long time coming, she didn't know.

"I'm here because I love you."

"Yeah, so long as I'm a good girl. You're the bad girl, Lilly is that it? You're the only one who's allowed to be bad?"

"No, Emma that's not…" Lilly started but Emma shook her head and Lilly stopped. "I'm not here to fight with you; I'm here to help you."

Regina cleared her throat before Emma could retort. "Emma, we're all here to help you, so please just try and listen. I hated you at first, hated everything you stood for. I'm sure you remember how we butted heads, how we fought, how we were with each other. But you know what? I also admired you. You were so strong, so fierce and so sure of yourself and what you believed. Where did that woman go? Where did your fight go, Emma? I miss the old Emma. I miss my friend." Regina normally would have hated the lump in her throat and tears in her eyes, but right now, they were necessary. "I miss the strong, brave, independent, happy woman who I was proud to call the other mother of my child. The one who challenged me and made me see what I could be. I miss the woman who stood for what was right and wasn't afraid to back down. I miss the woman who saved me from the darkness because she knew she was stronger and could handle it." Regina wiped at her tears and looked at Emma, looked into those forest green eyes. "I miss you, Emma. I want you back."

Emma couldn't believe what she was hearing and she looked at Regina to be sure it was coming from her. Tears fell freely from her eyes as brown orbs found hers and damn it, Emma knew Regina meant everything she was saying. Regina was being honest and raw and vulnerable for her and Emma knew right then, she'd do whatever it took to take the pain away from the woman. "I…I need a break." Emma said, trying to hold in her sob. She stood and went to the bathroom before anyone could stop her and sat on the ground, hugging her knees. What the fuck had she done? How was this her life?

Archie put his hand up to stop Henry from going after Emma. "This is good. It's okay." He looked at the rest of them. "Granny, Ruby, Zelena, Mal and Lilly, I thank you so much for being here, but I sense things may get deep and I think it may be better if it's just the family now, well and Regina."

They nodded and as a group, left the family, making them promise they'd let them know the outcome. Snow went and softly knocked on the bathroom door. "Emma honey? Please come back out here. It's just your father, Henry, Regina, Archie and I."

Emma sighed and stood up, washing her face before coming back out. "I'm sorry." She mumbled and sat back down.

"It's okay." Archie said. "Is it okay if your parents talk?"

Emma just nodded and once again, took Henry's hand in her own.

David cleared his throat. "Emma I…I don't even know how to start this. So many mistakes have been made and I'm sorry for each and every one of them. The help we're offering not only includes detox, but also counseling sessions for you and for us, our family. I think we have many unresolved issues that we need to fix; Emma and we took it for granted when you said you didn't want to talk. We're here now, we hear you and I'm so sorry it took this for us to understand. Please, my princess, please take this help. I can't lose you again." He said, his voice shaking with the raw honesty. "I refuse to let you go again."

Emma wiped her eyes. "How are we supposed to do all that if you send me away again? Last I knew, there's no rehab center here, so I'd have to go away and then I can't even tell the truth. We can't have family sessions and talk about the truth if I'm in some other town."

"That's why you'll be staying here." Snow said softly. "You'll stay and get help here. We will get help. We're all in this together, Emma."

"Here? What do you mean here? Your house? I really don't think little Neal needs to see his sister go through detox and all that comes with it. Henry doesn't need to see that either." Emma added.

"That's why Henry will stay with your parents and I will stay with you." Regina stated. "Either at my house or yours, I'm not fussed either way. I have a nurse ready to be around for the detox and Archie and I set up schedules for rehabilitation. You'll be secluded as you would be at any other rehab, but you'll be free to talk openly and honestly."

Emma looked at her. "Wait…you're going to help me?"

"Yes, Emma. I'm going to do anything and everything I can to help you. You saved me from the darkness once, now it's time I save you."

Henry looked between his moms and then at Emma. "I have a whole letter, but I think you're already agreeing. Maybe you can take it and read it later? I want you to know how I feel, but I think you've been through enough right now."

Emma looked at him and hugged him. "Yes. Okay yes, I'll take the help and I'll read your letter later." She looked at Regina. "This is gonna get rough, Regina. You may end up hating me again."

"Oh I don't doubt that." Regina said with a faint smirk. "But in the end, we'll both come out in the light."

Snow looked at Emma. "You'll really do this? You'll take our help?"

Emma nodded. "Yes, I'll do it. I'm terrified as hell, but I'll do it."

Tearful hugs were given and eventually, Emma headed out with Regina and Archie. It was decided they'd go to Regina's house and while they were there, Snow and David would go through Emma's place to rid it of any drug paraphernalia. Regina used her magic to gather some of Emma's clothes and personal items and once at her house, used her magic to rid it of any alcohol. Even though that wasn't Emma's drug of choice, anything like that was not permitted. Regina went to get the guest room ready as Archie and Emma talked.

"This won't be easy, Emma, but I'm here to help as much as I can. I'm available to you twenty four seven. Any time you need me, you call me."

"Thank you." Emma said, sitting on the sofa with her knees tucked to her chest. "I suppose I'm not allowed my phone or anything?"

"You can have your phone for games, but Regina has shut off any services including internet."

"Am I allowed to smoke regular cigarettes? I don't on a regular basis, but if I can't have anything else, can I at least have those?"

"It's up to Regina if she wants that in her home, but yes, I'd say you can go outside and smoke. I think it will help and we can work on that habit later."

"It's fine if it's outside." Regina said, coming into the room. "I'll do the spell to include the backyard."

"Spell?"

"Yes. I'm not locking you to your room, Miss Swan, but I am keeping you on the property. No one in, no one out without me knowing, other than Archie."

They then went through the rules and logistics and Emma was already feeling a headache. "I think it's starting." She said, feeling more nervous than she sounded.

"The nurse will be here shortly. I've asked her to stay the next twenty four hours at least to make sure what you're going through is normal and doesn't become emergent." Regina noticed the look in Emma's eyes and she knelt down in front of her, taking her hands. "I'm here, Emma. I'm here and will be here for you every step of the way. The nurse is just going to make sure nothing adverse happens. I'm here to support you and try to make you as comfortable as I can."

Emma sniffed and wiped at her eyes. "Thank you." She said quietly. "I think I'm going to go have a smoke before shit gets real."

Regina and Archie watched Emma and then Regina sighed. "She's in for a long night."

"You both are, Regina. She's lucky to have you."

Regina shook her head. "I've been so lucky to have her; I'm simply paying her back. Archie, I want Emma Swan back."

He gave an understanding nod. "We'll get her. She'll be back."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am no expert on this subject, but I'm going off of research (thank you American Addiction Centers) and second hand experience of watching a loved one ruin her life due to addiction. Her ending was not a happy one, but Emma's will be; it'll just take a while to get there. Also, again, I'm no expert on this, but I have grieved over two people who have lost their battle with addiction. If you are in the same boat, or ever need anyone to talk to (about anything honestly) my PM's are always open. Same warnings as before.

_**Read~Enjoy~Review** _

**Chapter 3 – Detox**

Emma tried to eat the dinner Regina made for them and the nurse, but she just couldn't. She was sweating and the shakes had already started. Her stomach was turning and her head was pounding and quite honestly, she wished she could be knocked out for a couple days and wake up when it was over. That would be too easy though, and she'd go right back to the drugs. She could swear that her veins itched and the only cure, the only way to stop them would be her drugs. She wanted the powder more than anything. She finished her fourth glass of ice water and let out a huff. Everything was annoying her, including her dry mouth. Fuck, it had only been three hours, she knew it was going to get much worse.

The nurse looked at Emma, kindly. "Emma, if you need anything, just tell me. I'm allowed to give you medication to help sooth any headaches or nausea. It's better you be honest or things can be really bad."

"What's your name?" Emma asked, sure she had been told but had forgotten.

She smiled again. "Samantha. Or, you can call me Sam. Although, after a while, I won't be surprised if you're calling me 'bitch' 'lady' or the devil himself." She reached out and touched Emma's hand. "And that's okay. I know it's because of what your body will be going through. Do you want to go over again what to expect?"

Emma knew she had been told, but again, she had already forgotten. "Is memory loss one of those things?" She asked, trying to chuckle, but not quite able to.

"It's a side effect of other symptoms." Sam said softly. "It's going to be at it's worst from twenty four to 72 hours, so one to three days. I'm here for that time, Emma, and I can be here longer if I need to be. It's not a twenty four hour fix though, because it's not over after the worst. Think of it like an arch." She stated, arching her hand on the table. "You're at the beginning right now, at the bottom. For the next one to three days, you'll be working towards getting to the top. Once you peak, you'll go back down. It can take up to a week, Emma, and it's not going to be fun, but I know you can do it."

"How do you know?" Emma asked, putting her fork down.

"Because I did, and I know you're stronger than me, Emma. I've seen you, I know you can do this." She took out a pamphlet and handed it to her. "Why don't you go take a break and read this, and if you have any questions, please ask me." Emma took the pamphlet and headed out back to have a smoke and read over it. Sam then looked at Regina. "Are you ready for this? She's going to yell at you and say she hates you and try so badly to hurt you because she's hurting. You can't take it personally."

"I know." Regina said, though her heart was pounding. "I think it'll start when she comes in because I'm going to ask her to put a magic blocking cuff on."

Emma took a drag as she sat back on the comfortable chair on Regina's patio. She looked at the pamphlet and let out the smoke. _When going through detox, you can expect some or all of the following symptoms to varying degree:_ _Insomnia, depression, irritability, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, abdominal cramps, nightmares, muscle aches, back and joint pain, tremors, restlessness, cravings, depression, anxiety, agitation, seizures, irregular heart rate, high or low blood pressure, respiratory distress, sweating, fever, cold and clammy skin, dilated pupils, tingling in the extremities, mental confusion, short-term memory issues, trouble concentrating, paranoia, delirium, hallucinations, excitability, watery eyes, bouts of crying, runny nose, shakiness, suicidal thoughts, pain sensitivity, disorientation, muscle weakness, and appetite fluctuations._

Emma sighed and threw the thing down before flexing her fingers, the tingling already starting. She was terrified and didn't know if she could actually do this. She wanted to leave, to run far away and get so high she would forget all about this. Then she remembered Henry's letter in her pocket, remembered her friends and family begging her to get help because they loved her and wanted her. She took out the letter as she took another drag and unfolded it, deciding to read it.

_Mom,_

_I probably should have told you this a long time ago, but mom; you're one of my biggest heroes. You were so lost and lonely when you first came here, and though you won't tell me the full story, I know you had a painful past. However, you pushed through it, you made yourself strong and you survived through all of it. You broke the curse, you saved your mother and yourself, you saved…I mean countless people, mom. You saved my other mother from the darkness. That's what I am most proud of, mom. You took the darkness in you because you knew you were stronger. But then, something happened and I wish I knew what it was. I wish I could go to that time and stop whatever it was from happening. Was it Killian? I mean, it would be easy to blame him, right? I can't help but wonder, however, if it wasn't him at all, but if it was us. Your family, your friends, your town. We all depended on you, probably too much. We took you for granted too. We knew you'd be there, knew you'd save the day, but we didn't ask you if you wanted to. We didn't ask you if you were okay, if you needed anything. I know you'll say I didn't have to because I'm your kid, but maybe I didn't have to, but I should have. I came to you with all my problems and you solved the, but I never came and just asked you if you're okay. I'm sorry, mom. I'm so sorry that we treated you like that. I can't take it back, but I can change going forward. I will come to you, mom, and talk and LISTEN to you. I will make sure you're okay. Mom, I want you at my graduation, I want you at my wedding one day and I want you to know your grandchildren when the time come. Mom…I want you. I want you back and I want…there I go making this all about me. I'm sorry. Mom, you are loved so much by so many people who, for some reason, forget to tell you. Maybe it's because we all grew up differently. I always had mom and I always knew she loved me. You didn't though. You weren't told you were loved and you're not used to unconditional love, so you need that assurance, and we didn't give it to you. I love you mom. I've loved you since the day I knocked on your door and I'll love you for the rest of my life. Mom, please fight now, fight for me, but damnit, fight for you! You deserve to be happy and only you can make this choice. I love you so much, mom._

_Love, Henry_

Emma sniffed and wiped at her eyes as she refolded the letter and put it back in her pocket. Her kid was so smart and she had no idea where he got it from. She put her cigarette out and stretched as she took deep breaths, knowing things were going to get bad.

Regina woke up to screaming and then remembered Emma was there. She rushed to the guest room and saw Sam standing in the door to the attached bathroom. "What's going on?"

"I had to take her blood pressure and she ended up with a muscle spasm at the same time. She's now sick. Regina, I've got this."

"Regina?" Emma called. "Is that Regina?"

"I'm here, Emma." Regina said, but then jumped back when the door was slammed.

"I do NOT want you to see me like this! I told you that!"

"Oh for heaven's sake, Emma. I told you that I'm not going to ignore the fact that you're here and in pain. Come on out, I think I know how to help you." With her magic, Regina set up an impromptu spa like atmosphere with a massage table, massage oils, and relaxing music.

"Good idea." Samantha said and opened the door. "Come on, Emma. Regina's just helping, and what she has planned should help you sleep."

Emma sighed, washed her face and rinsed her mouth out before coming out. She was dressed in a tank top and sweat pants and had the cold sweats. "What is this?"

"Take your shirt off and lay down. Don't worry, I won't look." Regina said, turning.

Emma sighed, but did as instructed and laid down. She was sure she felt the temperature rise a bit and wondered if Regina knew she was cold. She felt her hair being moved and smelled a hint of lavender before she felt warm hands on her back. Samantha took Emma's temperature and felt her pulse as Regina worked and then gave a nod. "I'll be back. Call me if you need me, but I think I'm going to try and get some sleep."

"Okay. Thanks, Sam." Emma called from the face hole in the table. "Thanks, Regina."

Regina smiled as she worked the oil in stiff muscles. "Relax, Emma. Deep breaths and tell me if it hurts." The first thing Regina noticed was the little scars here and there on Emma's back, however, when she got to her lower back, she gasped without thinking. Emma had a long scar from one side of her hip to the other. She hoped Emma hadn't noticed her surprise, but she knew she had when she felt the blonde stiffen. "I'm sorry, Emma." Regina said quietly.

"It's fine, I should have told you. It's just…from my past." Emma said, and while she had felt relaxed and almost at peace, she suddenly felt terrible and her stomach wouldn't settle. "Regina, this has been nice, but…I'm going to be sick." Emma shot up off the bed, grabbed her shirt and rushed to the bathroom, closing the door behind her. "Why the fuck is it so hot in here?" She yelled out between retching. Regina sighed and turned the temp down. She also got an ice pack and came back in, opening the door. "Regina! Don't you knock first?!" Emma yelled, as she hadn't been able to put her shirt on.

"Emma, honey it's fine." Regina said, using her magic to put the tank top back on Emma. She then went to her and put the ice pack on her neck, kneeling behind her. "It's okay, Emma." She said gently. "I'm here for you, anything you need."

Emma closed the toilet lid and then leaned on it, her eyes closing, the ice helping her in so many ways. "Just not anything I want." She said quietly. "Gods, Regina, I could really go for one hit. Just one. Just to take the edge off. It doesn't even have to be heroine, just some pot. It's legal in most places now, it's legal in Maine."

Regina sighed. "Yes, it's legal, but that's not going to help you, Emma. It's still a drug. Alcohol is legal too, but that doesn't mean it's okay for an alcoholic to have it."

"Alcohol? Can I have some of that? Please Regina, anything to numb everything." Emma's voice sounded weak even to her, but she didn't care.

"Sorry, but no. Talk to me, Emma, tell me what I can do that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol."

Emma groaned. "I don't know! I don't know how to deal with this, Regina. I can't…gods it's not just the physical pain, I mean that's bad enough, but now I also have all these thoughts, these feelings and I can't cope with them. I can't numb them away and they're all in my head, yelling at me and making it impossible to sleep or do anything." Emma said and leaned down to rest her head on her arms. "It doesn't help that it's all about the past and things I can't change or fix. Things I thought I buried a long time ago. Is…is it too late to call Archie?"

"It's never too late, Emma. I can call him and he can be here right away if that's what you want, or we can go lay in bed and you can talk to me."

"No I can't." Emma said. "I know I can't because when I have…when I've tried to talk to you, you get like my parents."

"What do you mean?" Regina didn't like being compared to Emma's parents.

"I mean…you get this look, Regina, this look like you feel guilty. Then I feel guilty and then I can't share what I'm thinking or feeling because I don't want you to feel bad. I don't blame you, but you blame you and I hate that I make you feel that way." Emma sighed. "I hate that I make you feel so many different ways."

Regina sighed and rubbed Emma's back. "Emma, look at me please." She waited until the blonde shifted and looked at her, her head still resting on her arms. "Emma, you can't _make_ me feel anything. I feel guilty because I am guilty…I was guilty. I was evil and I, no one else, pushed your parents into thinking that the only way to save you was to send you away. That was me. Sure, Henry likes to say it was Rumple, and to a point, maybe it was, but we all have choices and because of mine, your parents had to make the most difficult choice ever. Because of me, they sent you away. Because of me, you were…"

"No." Emma said, lifting her head and then wincing. "Okay, maybe I can get that you think it's your fault they sent me away. I guess maybe I can see that. But anything that happened after that wasn't your fault or my parents fault. None of you made those people do to me what they did. I know, gods I know without a doubt that if my parents knew what life had in store for me here, they'd have taken their chances and kept me with them. Hell, I even believe that if you knew, you maybe would have saved me somehow. Maybe not then, but once you were here. Honestly, I believe that if you knew, you'd have found me and taken me in. I don't blame you or my parents for what those terrible people did to me, so please don't blame yourself."

Regina sat there a moment and then reached forward and cupped Emma's cheek. "You have had to go through so much; more than you've even told us, and I know you've not told us everything. It never should have happened, Emma, and I'm so sorry." Tears filled Regina's eyes. "I'm so sorry that my need for revenge was at a cost to you. I swear, that was never my intention. I know that doesn't fix anything, but it's true. I wanted you, Emma. I was coming to the palace to take you. Not to kill you, but to take you and raise you as mine. You're right about what you said, if I had known what you were going through, I would have found you. I should have found you regardless, I know that now, but I didn't and I'm so sorry."

Emma looked down. "It's okay. I probably wouldn't have been good enough for you anyway. I was never good enough for anyone then, and I'm sure as hell proving I'm no good to anyone now. I guess my one foster mother was right when she said I'd never be anything but a whore and a drug addict. Granted, I was only five at the time and had no idea what she meant, but she was right."

"Emma, honey, no. You're so wrong. You are so good, too good, honestly. You're too good for all of us, except maybe Henry. For Henry, you're perfect."

Emma scoffed and hid her face. "No I'm not. If he knew what I've done just to get the drugs…he'd hate me and have every right to hate me."

Regina could see that Emma's shakes weren't as bad and her body heat seemed to be evening out. "Come on. I think your body needs to lay down."

Once Emma was tucked in bed, the ice pack still on her neck, Regina lay beside her, stroking her forehead. "Emma, Henry would never hate you. He'd maybe hate what you did, but he understands addiction and he'd never judge you."

"How can you be so sure? How does he understand?"

"Because he's researched." Regina answered. "He has done so much research to try and find a way to help you. He understands that addiction causes people to do things they never normally would. Emma, you're not a whore and you're on your way to be a recovering drug addict, so your so called foster mom was wrong." She sighed and watched the tears fall from closed lids. "Emma, you are amazing. I know you don't believe me now, and honestly, I don't think you've ever believed those words, but by the time we're done, by the time you're clean and sober and ready to live again, I'll made damn sure you believe me then."

Emma opened her eyes and turned them to Regina, the green lost in pools of water. "Why? Regina, why are you doing this for me? If it's because I took the darkness instead of you, you don't owe me anything for that. I messed up your life too many times to count and you'd already been through so much that I couldn't stomach the thought of you going through it again."

Regina let her fingers sweep from Emma's forehead to her cheek. "I'm doing this because I care and because you deserve it. You taking the darkness from me wasn't the first time you sacrificed yourself for someone else, and it wasn't the last. That's who you are and part of what makes you amazing. You deserve to have someone be here for you for once, and I'm honored that it gets to be me."

"Even if it means I yell and swear at you and act like a total bitch as I go through this?" Emma asked, managing a small grin.

"I'd expect nothing less, Miss Swan." Regina said with her own little smirk. "I also want you to know now, while your mind is lucid, that I am not going to take anything you say to me personally. I know you're going through things and I know you're going to lash out and that's okay. Lash out, Emma. Yell at me, scream at me, cry to me, hell, you can even hit me right now and I will take it because it means you're finally getting it out. All that shit you've so carefully buried will come out and I'm glad, because it needs to come out. You've carried it for far too long all by yourself and it's time you share the load."

Emma sighed and pulled the covers up more. "I'm going to owe you big time after this, Regina."

"No, you will owe me nothing."

The two were quiet for a while and Regina went back to stroking Emma's forehead as the blonde closed her eyes again. Regina looked at the face she had taken for granted for so long and noticed how relaxed the woman looked. Emma always had this look of…heaviness. Regina always thought that Emma looked like she carried so much weight on her shoulders and she was glad to see it gone, even if just for a while.

"Regina?" Emma asked, softly, causing Regina to jump just a bit.

"Yes?"

"My parents…they had a choice, right? I mean, I don't blame them for what happened to me, I meant that, but they had a choice. They could have ignored the prophecy and kept me with them, kept me out of that wardrobe. They could have picked me, instead of them and their friends?"

Regina sighed, trying to find the right words in a situation where there were none. So, she just answered honestly, with one word. "Yes." Then she added. "I'm sorry. I know they think they had no other choice, but they did." Regina shifted a bit. "But think of it like this, Emma. You had a choice with Henry too. No, don't get upset, just listen. You ultimately had a choice. It would have been hard and almost impossible, but you could have kept him, put him in foster care until you were out and hope things worked, or you could have done what you did and gave him his best chance. That's what your parents did. You know better than most what a hard choice that is."

Emma was quiet for a while and then let out a breath. "Thank you. I think I needed to hear that." She then sighed. "I'm going to try and sleep before things get bad again."

Regina didn't mean to, but she ended up falling asleep next to Emma, her hand on Emma's chest. A few hours later, she felt a crushing sensation on her hand and woke up with a start, looking at panicked filled green eyes. "Emma? What's wrong?"

"Hurts." Was all Emma said through a wince. She took raged breaths and clutched at her chest. "I can't breathe…heart hurts…too fast."

Regina pressed her hand on Emma's chest and could feel her heart going a mile a minute. "Samantha!" She said as she sat up and stroked Emma's hair to try and calm her. "Sam! Please come in here."

The nurse rushed in and went to Emma's side. "What's wrong?"

"Her heart is pounding and she said she can't breathe."

Sam did some checking and then stroked Emma's forehead, looking into her eyes. "It's okay, Emma. Let's take some deep breaths. You're having a bit of a panic attack. We have to get that heartrate down." She locked eyes with the blonde and helped her to getting actual deep breaths.

Regina watched, noticing how Emma was sweating and shaking and she magically refilled the ice pack as Sam moved her hand, and put it on Emma's forehead. "You're okay, Emma. We're here."

Emma's eyes moved to Regina and Regina could see the fear in them. "Don't leave me." She said, her voice scratchy and small.

Regina shook her head and gave what she hoped was a comforting smile. "Never."

Emma did get her breathing down and was able to sleep again, but not for long. Her symptoms were coming faster and stronger and she would bolt for the bathroom or curl up in pain. She would groan and even scream at times because of the pain and Regina's heart broke every time. After another four hours, Sam looked to Regina. "You need to go rest. You'll be no good to her if you exhausted."

"What about you?" Regina snapped, though not meaning to.

"I had a good five hours earlier. Please just go try and sleep."

"I told her I wouldn't leave her."

"You're not leaving her. You're doing what's good for her and taking care of yourself. It's going to be a while yet, Regina, and you need to rest."

Begrudgingly, Regina agreed and got up, knocking on the bathroom door. "Emma? I'm being kicked out for a while, but if you need me, just call."

"Go sleep, Regina. I'll be okay." Emma called, not wanting Regina to see her curled up on the floor. "Can you soundproof the room so I don't wake you?"

"No. I mean yes, but I'm not going to. Good night." Regina said, leaving before Emma could argue. She got in her bed and sighed as the early morning sun started coming through her windows. She closed the curtains and laid back down, trying to get her mind to rest so her body could follow.

"I don't want to fucking talk about it!" Emma yelled, pissed that Archie was trying now to get her to talk about her past. "Can't you see I'm fucking dying here?! You think now is the best time to talk about the monsters from my past?"

Regina sighed and looked at the clock. Well, she had gotten about five hours of sleep, so it wasn't exactly terrible. She went in the shower and let the hot water stream down her body, trying to wash off the exhaustion. When she was dressed, she came out and was surprised Emma wasn't in her room. The way she heard her earlier, Regina was convinced that was where they were. That was until there was a crash from downstairs.

"I don't want to fucking talk!" Emma yelled. "What don't you understand about that?! Gods damnit!" She said, sending another random item towards the man who just sat calmly.

Regina sighed, wondering which of her items she'd be repairing earlier and composed herself before coming into the room. "Good morning. Can I get anyone something for breakfast…or brunch?"

"I don't want to fucking eat." Emma said, pacing back and forth, practically ripping her hair out. "I have to get the fuck out of here." Regina noticed Emma's shaking was terrible and she was so white. "I need a fix. I don't give a shit about anything else right now."

Samantha came to Regina and led her into the kitchen. "Do you have fruit? She needs sugar, maybe a smoothie? If we can get her to drink that, then some oatmeal would be great too."

Regina nodded and started her work cutting berries, bananas, peaches and mangoes and adding some yogurt and ice to the blender. It was on for maybe two seconds when Emma came barreling in the room. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" She yelled, hands over her ears. "Are you trying to kill me faster?"

Regina ignored her and watched until the smoothie was done, she then poured it into a glass, added some strawberries and a straw and went to Emma. "Drink this." Emma just looked at her, refusing to take it. "Miss Swan, you will sit down and drink this if I have to sit on your lap and force it into you, but one way or another, you will drink it."

Emma huffed and took the drink, resisting the overwhelming urge to throw it across the room, instead taking a sip as if to prove a point. Then she froze and closed her eyes as she sucked down more.

"Careful or you'll get a cold headache." Regina said, trying not to laugh as she then went to check the oatmeal. "Cinnamon and apple oatmeal okay?"

Emma grunted, but nodded as she sat down and drank more of the smoothie, her shakes decreasing slightly. "Got any of your apple muffins?"

"Not right now, but if you start cooperating, I can make some. I was going to do chocolate chip cookies, but the language I've heard and the crashing of my items out there makes me think you don't quite deserve them."

Regina put a bowl in front of Emma and gave her a look. Emma looked down, ashamed. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Regina said, sitting by her and rubbing her back. "Honey, I know this is hard, but please remember we are all here to help you."

"I know, but it's so hard. Regina I really am sorry. I didn't even know what I was doing until I did it."

"I know, and it's nothing that can't be fixed."

"Can I still get cookies? And muffins?" She asked, giving puppy eyes.

Regina chuckled and shook her head. "Yes, Miss Swan, you can still get cookies and muffins. Will you try to talk to Archie?"

Emma nodded and ate more oatmeal. "Yes." They both ate in silence for a while. "Regina?"

"Yes, dear?"

"I like it when you call me honey better than Miss Swan." She said, not taking her eyes off the empty bowl.

"I'll remember that." Regina said as she took the dishes. "Do you want more?"

"Not right now, thank you." Emma then went into the living room. "I'm going to shower and then I will try to talk to you."

As she went upstairs, Regina came out and gave a small smile. "You two hungry?"

Samantha got some food, but she ate it in Emma's room in case she needed her help while Archie declined and waited in the living room. "Regina, you're good with her. I wasn't exactly sure what to expect, but you really level her out. This can't be easy, however, so please know that I'm here for you too."

"No, it's not easy, but it's necessary." Regina said, fixing what Emma had broken. "She not only needs someone, but deserves someone to help her. I'm just glad I can do it. I know it's early days, but I'm feeling okay about all this."

Archie sat back, observing her. "You know she won't be ready for a relationship for a while."

Regina froze and couldn't look at him. "That's not why I'm doing this."

"I know, Regina. I'm sorry if that's how my comment came out. " He checked to see if anyone else was in the room and lowered his voice. "It's just that we've discussed your feelings for Emma in the past and I think that, eventually, you two would be perfect for each other, but right now, she's just not ready."

Regina turned. "I know that. I'm not trying to have any kind of romantic relationship with her right now. I swear to you that my intentions are only to get her through this and become herself again."

"I know. I do believe you, Regina. I'm not against you here." He took his glasses off to clean them. "This is an emotional process for all involved and I'm only worrying about you right now. I don't want you to get your hopes…"

"Don't worry, Archie, I have no hopes of us anyway. If it happens in the future, I'd be ecstatic, but right now, I just want her to get through another day."

Their conversation was over once footsteps were heard coming down the stairs. Emma did look a bit better as she plopped into a chair. "I'm ready."

Regina smiled and softly touched Emma's shoulder. "I'm proud of you. I'll be in the kitchen, not listening, as I bake your requests."

"Thank you." Emma said with a smile and watched her go. She then looked at Archie. "I'm so lucky she's here to help me."

Archie smiled and nodded in agreement. "Okay, Emma, let's talk. You said last night your memories wouldn't leave you alone. Was there one specific one that took control over the others?"

Before Regina started on the baking, she stepped outside and called Henry. She missed him and wanted to see how he was doing. He of course was asking all about Emma and Regina did her best to update him and Snow and David without going into too much detail. She was fine, it was hard, she was going through a lot, but she was okay.

An hour later, as the last batch of cookies came out of the oven, Emma came in looking exhausted and like she'd been crying. She took a cookie before Regina could warn her how hot they were and sat down at the island. "I hate talking to him."

Regina chuckled. "Those are hot." She said and then replaced the cookie Emma had with one that had cooled a bit. "I hate talking to him too, but it helps."

"You see him?" Emma asked a bit surprised.

"Yes, I do. I needed help and he helps me. I may hate feeling vulnerable and being open, but in the end, it's helpful."

Emma chewed on her cookie and thought about that. "Yeah, you're right. For now, it's okay, but I'm not looking forward to sessions with my parents." She sighed and put her head down on her arms, groaning. "I don't want to hear about how they had no other choices and how I should understand. They're so…self-righteous sometimes. Like is it really so hard to admit that maybe, just maybe you didn't do the right thing? I mean, even with the whole Lily thing, they can't admit they were the bad guys in that."

"It is hard. It's so hard to admit you were wrong, Emma. Especially when you have lived your whole life being told how good you are like they have. I'm not trying to defend them, that's not my job, I'm just saying that in my experience, it's so hard. Telling Henry I was wrong about how I treated him before the curse broke was the hardest thing I've ever done. I'd rather tell the whole town I was sorry for my Evil Queen days than admit to Henry I was wrong with him."

"But you did it." Emma said, lifting her head. "You swallowed your pride and did what he needed you to do and told him you were wrong and you were sorry. He told me all about it. You didn't once try to defend yourself, you simply admitted your mistake and took the consequence for it. My parents have never done that. They've never…I mean they just keep saying they were giving me my best chance. I get that they probably were and all that, but just once, I'd love to hear them say 'You're right, Emma, we had other choices and we're sorry that the one we made caused you so much pain'." Emma sighed and put her head back down. "Is that selfish? Is it too much to ask?"

Regina sighed and walked behind Emma, massaging her shoulders. "No, honey, it's not selfish or too much to ask. The problem is that you can't control what others say or feel and you can't expect them to just know. Maybe you need to tell them, tell them what you feel and what you want them to say."

"I don't want them to say it because I said so though."

"I know that, but maybe if you tell them exactly how you feel, they can think about it and give you an answer you want. The truth is, you can't control other people's actions, you can only control how you respond to them. So, you can either get angry or stay angry without telling them, or you can tell them and be done with it. If they don't see things like you do, then you decide where you go from there. You decide if that means maybe you don't have them in your life as much, or if you can accept it as one of their flaws and carry on. Either way, it's up to you what happens after."

"How do you know all this?" Emma asked with a slight chuckle.

"It's what I was told when I was talking to Archie about how to tell the town I was sorry. I couldn't force them to see my side, no matter how hard I wanted to. So I had to decide what I would do after I told them. I decided I'd move on and better myself and not give a flying fuck what they thought. Well, some of them. You and Henry for example, I wanted to make sure you two knew I meant it."

"Why me? I get Henry, but why me?"

Regina sighed and worked on a knot in Emma's upper back. "You may be a lot of things, but the most important is that you're Henry's other mother. I cared what you thought because he cared what you thought. I also…I can't believe I'm admitting this, but I also wanted you to see I could be good. I failed you without even knowing it when you were a baby and I wanted to show you that I could be redeemed."

Emma was quiet for a moment and Regina briefly wondered if she fell asleep. "In other words, you care about me." Emma said, in a teasing way. "Regina Mills actually cares about me."

Regina laughed and shook her head. "Of course I do. I care very much about you, Emma. I don't know how you wormed your way in, but you did."

Again, Emma was quiet for a moment. "I care about you too." She said finally. "I care a lot about you."

"I know, and it means a lot to me." Regina said quietly. "Why don't you go get some rest?" The words 'it's not over yet' left unspoken.

"I'll try. I feel my stomach already getting mad at me and I'm starting to shake again, but I'll try." Emma slowly got up and then turned and hugged Regina, not letting go. "Thank you. For everything." She then left, wiping her eyes and Regina watched her go.

"You're welcome, Emma." She said quietly before going back to baking.


	4. Chapter 4

Read~Enjoy~Review

Chapter 4

The second night was turning out worse than the first one for Emma. She couldn't stop shaking or sweating, she couldn't even keep water down, her muscle spasms were incredibly painful, her skin felt as if a million ants were in it crawling around, and, her head was pounding nonstop causing every little thing to annoy the hell out of her. "I told you to stop touching me and leave me the hell alone!" She yelled out, pulling her arm away from Sam. "You can't fucking help me anyway. I swear to gods, you're just giving me sugar pills to make me think you're helping."

Sam stayed calm and gave Emma a look. "I need to check your pulse. The sooner you let me do it, the sooner I can leave you alone." When it was clear Emma wasn't going to cooperate, Sam just folded her arms and sat on the bed. "Emma, I know you're in pain, but I am giving you what I can for it. I'm sorry that it's not helping much, but I need to make sure that you're okay and not getting more serious health issues." Emma still ignored her and Sam sighed, going to her last resort. "You think Henry will be okay if you let yourself have a seizure or a heart attack because you wouldn't let me do my job?"

Emma huffed. "He'd be better off that way." She grumbled and Sam shook her head.

"Emma Swan, do not ever let me hear you say that again." Regina said, coming into the room after her nap. "I know you're in pain and I know that every little thing is annoying you, but damn it, let the woman do her job. Do you want to die, Miss Swan? Is that what you're going for?"

Emma held her arm out but looked away as tears filled her eyes. Yes. Yes, she wanted to just die. She knew she couldn't say that though, knew that if she did, Archie would be called and that would just piss her off more. Sam did what she needed to do and took out some pills. "Your heart rate is still too high. I need you to take one of these and let me check you again in half an hour."

Emma took the pill and then crossed her arms, pouting as her body shook more. Sam stepped out and Regina took her place. Her voice was now softer as she looked at the woman in front of her. "Emma? Honey, you didn't answer me."

"I can't." Emma said around the lump in her throat. "You'll call Archie and then I'll go on some stupid suicide watch or something."

Regina sighed, sadness filling her. "So you do want to die. Is that the detox talking or something more?"

Emma curled on her side, facing Regina, her tears falling no matter how hard she tried to keep them in. "What do I have going for me, Regina? Even if I get through this, then what? My dad took my job from me without even asking me because I went through a damn portal and when I came back, he was suddenly in charge. He said I was still sheriff, but if I did something he didn't agree with, he would undo it. I gave up. I couldn't keep trying when it didn't matter. So, I'm left with my parents money in a house where I live on my own with nothing to do and nothing to focus on. Sounds like a recipe for going back to drugs if you ask me." Emma sighed. "I tried, you know. I really did try with Killian, but he…he was an asshole. I couldn't say anything because no one wanted to hear it. No one wanted to know how my life was. So, I possibly get through this and go back to my empty life again? What's the point?"

Regina sighed and lay on her side, facing Emma. She softly wiped at the blonde's tears. "Oh, Emma. I wish you would have talked to me. I wish I'd have made it easier for you to talk to me. Look, I don't know what I can do now other than request a vote for sheriff, but I could have done more back then and I'm sorry. You were so good at that, you did an amazing job, but I know you can do other things. Once you get through this detox and we start building your new life, we'll figure it out. I'll be here to help you and so will Henry."

Emma sighed. "Regina, it's just…everyone was so happy when the curse broke and everyone was saying I should be happy too. In some ways, I was. I found my parents and was glad to hear I wasn't exactly thrown away; not like I had thought, anyway. But while everyone else was celebrating what they gained, I felt out of place because I was mourning what I lost. Yes, I gained a mother, but I lost a best friend. The first best friend I'd had in so many years. I lost the person I could talk to about anything and not feel like I was being judged. Then, I lost Ruby too. I mean, not completely, but she went from being my friend and my person to go drink and let loose with and became my mother's friend and a person who was only looking out for my best interests. The town that once saw me as their sheriff now saw me as their savior and used me to 'save' them from everything. Hell, even Henry changed. I love the kid more than words can express, but even he stopped seeing things for what they were for a while. I mean, he came back and he finally understood there's more than black and white, but so much changed. You don't know how much I'd love to go back to when there was still the curse. Other than you and I being at each other all the time, I miss those days. I…I was just me. I was just Emma. I wasn't a hero, a savior or a princess. I was just Emma Swan and I didn't have to worry about how I looked to anyone else or how I acted or how…how the fuck was I going to get rid of whatever beast would come next. It's so much pressure and the minute I slip up, everyone is gone." She sniffed and grabbed a tissue. "When I took the darkness in and became The Dark One, you were the only one to come talk to me. Sure, you were mad and you were trying to get me to see my mistakes, but you talked to me. My parents just…just stayed away and didn't even try to help me. No one from the town came to see if I needed anything. No one came running for me then and that hurt more than anything. The fact that one little thing could turn everyone against me…it hurt. Now, the whole town knows I'm a drug addict and have been, but again, no one came. No one reached out. No one cared to save me…well not at first. You know what I mean."

Regina gave a soft nod. "I do know what you mean. We should have come sooner, but I know that's not your point. You're right, Emma. You lost so much that you wanted and gained what you didn't. It's not fair. It never was fair." She sighed. "I can't speak for the idiots in the town, but I can tell you that I am sorry. I should have seen what was happening and I should have been there for you."

"You were, Regina."

"No, not enough. I didn't do enough and I'm sorry. Emma, honey, you have to talk to your parents about this. You have to tell them how you feel. I can't know what they'll say, but I do know you'll feel better just getting it out there. As for what happens next? You live, Emma Swan. You live knowing you're not alone and never will be. You'll always have me and Henry by your side. You can do anything because that's who you are. If you want to be sheriff again, you run for the position. If you want to do something completely different, you do it."

Emma was quiet for a moment. "I…I have always thought of maybe starting some kind of community center for the youth in Storybrooke. I had no idea until I was in it, just how many youths are also in the drug world and could benefit from a safe place to go. But who would want their kids around me after this?"

"Everyone." Regina said simply. "Who better to show others they can do it than someone who did it? If that's what you decide to do, that's what you do and I'll help every way I can."

"Why?"

"Because far too many people have given up on you, Emma, and I refuse to be one of them."

As much as Emma wanted to stay right where she was, her body had other plans. She got up and rushed to the bathroom, her stomach violently ridding it's self of anything inside it. "Regina?" Emma said, her voice panicked. "There's blood."

"Samantha!" Regina called as she rushed to the bathroom. She saw what Emma was talking about and fear gripped her. She knew she had to remain calm though and she rubbed Emma's back. "It's okay, sweetheart, it's okay." She soothed as the nurse came in. "Emma got sick and there's blood."

Samantha looked and then nodded, getting her phone out. "Dr. Whale, we need you at Regina's." She said, stepping out of the room for a bit. She came back and went to Emma. "Honey, the doctor is on his way. I think it's just that you've been so sick, your throat is probably rubbed raw from the inside, but I want him to have a look at you to make sure."

Emma's head and heart were pounding and she was shaking so much she didn't think she'd be able to stand, but she nodded. "I'm not trying to be dramatic, but I feel like I'm dying. I honestly do."

"I know honey. Come on, let's get you back in bed." Sam suggested softly.

Regina and Samantha helped Emma back in the bed and then Regina went to answer the door when Whale came.

"Well, Emma, I know that was scary, but it's not serious." He said, feeling bad for the woman in the bed. "Detox makes you sick and being sick so much can cause your esophagus and throat to go raw causing them to bleed. I'm going to give you an anti-acid to take once a day. I know it's hard to judge when you're going to be sick, but I recommend taking it with your breakfast. It may not take this away completely, but unless you see clots, there's no reason to worry." He gave her a small smile. "You're doing well, Emma. I can't imagine how hard this is, but you're getting through it. It'll be over soon." He stood up and packed his things. "If you need anything, you call me."

"Thanks." Emma said and then looked at him. "Got anything stronger for a headache? The shit she's giving me isn't doing fuck all to get rid of it."

Whale chuckled a bit and looked at what Sam had. "Sorry, I don't have anything else I can give you while you're detoxing or it'll set you back. I can say that you can take one of these with two ibuprophen every four to six hours. It may help to take them together."

"It doesn't. She tried that with me already." Emma grumbled. "It just hurts so bad, I honestly feel like I'm dying."

"I know, Emma, but you're not. You're living." He said, softly touching her hand. "Go have a smoke. No, I normally wouldn't ever tell a patient to do that, but this is a different situation. Go have a smoke, take a hot shower, put an ice pack on your neck and a hot water bottle on your head and try to sleep."

Emma huffed as Regina took Whale back downstairs. "Go have a smoke, he says. Yeah, like that'll fucking help."

"It just may, Emma." Sam said. "It'll help calm your nerves which can help with the headache. Go do that and I'll get the ice pack and hot water bottle ready."

Regina came in and sighed as she watched Emma try to get up. She went to the window and opened it, pushing a chair under it. "For now only. I'd never normally let you do this, but I don't think you'll make it downstairs right now." She helped Emma to the chair and handed her her pack of smokes and a lighter. "I'm sorry if this makes you cold, but I'm turning a fan on to blow it out the window."

"That's fine. Thank you." Emma said, lighting up. She enjoyed the first so much, she quickly lit a second before Regina could say anything. She then went into the bathroom and took a long, hot shower, glad Regina had thought to put a shower chair in there so she could relax a bit. When she was done, she came back out and laid down, Sam putting the ice pack under Emma's neck and the hot water bottle over her forehead and eyes. Emma let out a contented sigh. "Regina? Do you have a heating pad or something I can use for my stomach?"

"I sure do." She said and went to get it. She came back and didn't know if the woman was sleeping, so she plugged it in and turned it on before lifting the covers and putting it on Emma's stomach. "Sleep well, Emma." She said softly. When there was no answer, she knew she was sleeping so after a few moments, she went to her own room to get more sleep.

The next day was more of the same, filled with pain, anger, sickness, and crying but by day four, Emma was starting to feel better. She wasn't shaking, her head didn't hurt as bad and she was keeping food down. Sam asked if she wanted her to stay, but Emma said she was fine and promised to call if she needed to. It was nice to have just her and Regina home and the two spent a lot of time talking or watching movies together. Regina did get some work done, but mostly focused on Emma. After Emma's session with Archie, the blonde was quiet and when she asked Regina to cuddle on the sofa with her, the brunette couldn't say no.

"He let me call Henry." Emma said quietly. "It was nice to talk to him."

"I bet it was. I bet he loved that too." When Emma didn't say anything, Regina shifted a bit. "Did something happen?"

Emma blinked some tears. "I…I didn't mean to, but I snapped at him. It wasn't even his fault. He said that my mom and dad said to say they loved me and I just snapped. Gods, I don't even know why. I just said something like 'if that's true, they can tell me themselves. I'm sick of them going through other people and I'm sick of their bullshit so if we're just gonna talk about them, I'm hanging up.' I feel terrible. I apologized right away, and he said it was fine, but he didn't sound fine. Regina, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Regina stroked Emma's hair as the blonde cried into her chest. "Shh. It's okay, honey, you don't have to be sorry. I'm sur Henry is fine, but I'll call him later. You're going through a lot right now, and this is bound to happen."

"Call him now? Please, go and call him and make sure he's okay." Emma asked and Regina gave a nod.

"I'll be right back." She kissed Emma's forehead and then went to the kitchen, pulling out her phone. "Henry? Hey, it's mom. I…your Ma talked to me and wanted me to make sure you're okay. You can be honest with me, bud, and if you're not, just say so."

Henry sighed. "I'm okay. I mean, it hurt in the moment, but I know she didn't mean to yell at me. I know she's going through a lot and I know it's both mental and physical and she didn't mean to take it out on me." His voice got quieter. "I don't think Grandma and Grandpa understand though. They don't get why Emma is upset and it's frustrating to try to keep explaining it. Mom? Can I go stay with Zelena? I can't stand it here."

Regina sighed. "Yes. I'm sorry, Henry. I wish you could stay here, but it's just too soon. I'll call Zelena and then call Snow and tell her that your aunt wants some time with you."

Regina did just that and then came back out to the living room, snuggling with Emma. "Everything is fine, Emma." She told her everything, knowing she had to be honest.

Emma sighed. "I feel so bad. He should be here with you and not out there with them. At least Zelena shouldn't have anything against me enough to make Henry feel bad."

"Of course she doesn't. Don't worry, everything will be fine."

After a week, Emma was medically cleared and declared fully detoxed. While that was great, the new issue was the feeling of being cooped up. Both Regina and Emma felt it, but Archie said that this had to be like a true rehab where Emma had to work on herself. She was sitting on the sofa, feeling like she was in a slump when Regina came in and tossed her her boots. "We're going for a walk. Don't worry, we're not going through town."

Emma quickly put them on and realized Regina also had boots on. "Where are we going?"

"To get some fresh air."

The two hiked through the woods of Storybrooke and ended down at one of the beaches by the sea. Emma took a deep breath, her arms hugging herself. "Everything seems clearer. Is that weird?"

Regina chuckled. "No, it's not weird. You just cleaned your body of drugs and toxins so you're bound to see better, have a better sense of smell, and even think clearer."

"I like it. I feel…I feel like me again."

Regina then took her to a part of town Emma hadn't been to in quite a while and stood outside an old building. "What's this?" Emma asked, seeing the 'sold' sign on it.

"It's the future home of the Swan Youth Center. The permits went through today and whenever you're ready, you can start. I have the floor plans and everything and you can decide what you want in it. There's a grant that you'll be getting to spend on whatever needs to be done."

Emma just stood there and then wrapped her arms around Regina. "Thank you. This means so much."

"You deserve it, Emma. I'm so proud of you."

"You may not think like that after my family session tomorrow. Are you sure you still want us to do it at your house?"

"I will still think it and yes, I want it where you feel most comfortable." Regina looked at Emma. "Just remember, you have a right to your feelings and no one can take that away from you. You have a right to say how you feel, and you have a right to make any choices going forward. You don't owe anyone anything and you don't have to suffer because you're around people you may decide you don't want to be around. But also remember to give them a chance. Give them time to process what you're saying. If they don't say what you want to hear tomorrow, give them time to stew on it for a while."

Emma gave a nod. "Thanks." She took a deep breath. "Thank you for giving me my life back."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda foresee this being a bit emotional and the end may be triggering, but honestly the whole story is like that, so it’s no different than the rest. Some may get upset, but having experience in this, I find it realistic.
> 
> Read~Enjoy~Review

****

**Chapter 5**

Emma was up early the next morning, a steaming mug of hot coffee and a smoke in the ashtray in front of her on the patio table and her hand furiously writing in her journal. She was both ready and not ready for her session with her parents today, wondering if she could really say all she wanted to say and still have them love her afterwards. Her and Archie talked about this and Archie, along with Regina, had told Emma that she has every right to express all her feelings, but she had to be ready for their reactions. She was…at least, she thinks she’s ready. Knowing that no matter what, Regina and Henry would be here for her really helped her, but that little lost girl part of her didn’t want to lose what little and fragile connection she had with her parents. Maybe, just maybe, once everything was out in the open, things could be better. That’s what the blonde hoped for, at least.

“Emma?” Regina called as she stepped outside, looking flustered “I know I said I’d wait for Archie, but he just rang and said he’s running about ten minutes late and there’s a crisis at the office and…”

Emma put a hand up. “Go. Regina, I’ll be fine, I promise. There’s nothing here that I can get into and I swear I won’t leave.”

Regina worried at her lip and then looked at her phone. “You sure you don’t feel like I’m abandoning you?”

“Gods no. Regina, you’ve put your life on hold for me so much already. If that’s what you’re worried about, please don’t. Go. Do what you have to do and don’t worry about me. I have a feeling I’ll be busy all day anyway.”

Regina let out a breath. “That’s why I want to go now, so I can be home for you later.”

Emma smiled softly. “You’re incredibly sweet. Go take care of business.”

“Okay, I’ll see you later. Good luck.” Regina said, giving Emma’s shoulder a squeeze. “Just be honest and you’ll be just fine.”

Regina lifted the spell so that Snow and David would be able to enter later and headed out. Emma put out her cigarette as she closed her journal. She took a drink of her coffee and sat back with her eyes closed, mentally getting ready for the day.

“They left the patient alone?” Came a voice that caused Emma’s stomach to drop.

“What are you doing here?” Emma asked as she sat up. “What the hell do you want?”

He sat down with a grin. “I can’t come and tell my best customer that I miss her? Come on, Swan, don’t tell me you don’t miss me too. How many times have I had you in my bed, or even in my car, or in a dark alley next to the dumpsters? You know, with the garbage where you belonged.”

“Go away.” Emma said with gritted teeth. “I’m clean now and I don’t want or need you here.”

He chuckled and looked around. “Yes, I suppose you have moved up, haven’t you Swan? Instead of a dirty whore in the alley, you’re now a polished-up whore in a mansion. Tell me, what does Madam Mayor pay you with?” He produced a baggie. “I’m sure it’s not as good as this.”

Emma chewed at her lip. “It’s not like that. I’m not a whore and I don’t do that stuff anymore. You wouldn’t understand and I don’t need to justify it to you.”

“So you think you’re better than all this now, Swan?” He said angrily as he stood and rushed to her. One hand wrapped around her neck as the other stroked her hair. “You’re nothing but garbage and you know it. Thrown away the day you were born and never actually wanted. You can say you’re clean, pretend the woman who owns this house cares, and even think you’re over the drugs, but we both know you’re just delaying the inevitable.” He brought his hand down and cupped her breast, squeezing it roughly. “I think you need a reminder of what you really want.” With out her knowing, he slid the baggy into her jeans pocket before kissing her and then pushing her away. “Filthy whore.” He growled before leaving.

Emma gasped for a breath as she felt her tears gather and her stomach gurgle with disgust. She got up and rushed to the bathroom, emptying her stomach before curling up with her back against the wall. She didn’t need this today or any other day, but of course, life was never that easy. She heard a knock at the front door and sighed as she stood up. “Be right there.” She called and then rinsed her mouth out before splashing water on her face. She dried it and then went to the door and felt relieved to see Archie there. “Hey. Come in.”

Archie took one look at Emma and knew something was wrong. “What’s wrong, Emma?” He asked as he came in. “I can tell something is wrong.”

Emma sighed and opened the door to Regina’s home office as this is where they’d do the session. “I just…how much time do we have before my parents get here?” She asked, biting her lip.

“We have 45 minutes, but if we need to push it back, we can.”

Emma shook her head. “No, that’s fine. I just need something to drink. Would you like anything? Coffee, tea, lemonade, water?”

“Lemonade sounds great, Emma, thank you.” He said as he sat down, getting his notebook out.

Emma went and got the two drinks before coming back in and sitting down on the sofa. She pulled her legs up and hugged them to her chest. “My dealer stopped by today just after Regina left.” She admitted, closing her eyes and resting her forehead on her knees. “Before you ask, I didn’t take anything from him.”

“I see. I believe you, but obviously something did happen. You’re white as a ghost and if I’m not mistaken, you have marks on your neck. Should we be calling the police?”

Emma gave a shrug. “Why? He’d just be out by the end of the day.” She sighed. “He did choke me after I declined his offer. He…reminded me of the things I did for drugs and how I’ve been garbage since the day I was born.” She knew she had to be honest, so she told him everything.

Nothing but understanding and care came from Archie as he looked at Emma. “Emma, is that how you feel about yourself?”

Emma let out a breath. “It’s how I’ve felt before, but since I’ve been here, I haven’t felt like that…well not as often. But now I just feel like maybe I was wrong. Maybe I just thought I could be this good person who didn’t do drugs and the reality is, I…I won’t ever be that good person again.”

“So, you’re going to let one person tell you who you are? One person who doesn’t know you, who only wants you for sex, who misses your business, who doesn’t love you is going to tell you who you are? Do we need to gather all those who do know you, love you, and see you for who you truly are again to remind you?”

Emma shook her head; she didn’t want to face everyone again. “No, I don’t need that. I’m just…it just happened, Archie and I’m just telling you how I feel.”

He nodded. “I get that, and I’m glad you’re being honest with me. However, this could be a set back and I want to nip it in the bud before it is. I know it hasn’t been long, but Emma, you’ve come so far already. I need to ask, after this has happened, do you feel like you’re in a good headspace to speak with your parents today? We can postpone it, and part of me thinks that is the best idea.”

Emma chewed at her lip. “I…I know what you’re saying, but I kinda want to get it over with.”

Archie chuckled. “Emma, it’ll never be ‘over with’, but I understand what you’re saying. Are you sure you’re okay from this morning?”

She nodded as she put her legs down. “It had literally just happened and now that I’ve talked about it, I feel better.”

He gave a nod. “Good. Now, we have about fifteen minutes, so why don’t you go take a break while I get things set up. I talked to Regina, and I’m going to rearrange a bit in here.”

“Okay.” Emma said and grabbed her lemonade before heading back out to the patio. She made sure no one was around before she lit up a smoke and sat down. She thought about what Regina had told her when she was detoxing – well as much as she could remember anyway – and knew that she really had no reason to be nervous. **She** had to decide what **she** wanted if her parents just couldn’t admit what she hoped they would. Emma heard her parents come in with Archie greeting them and took a deep breath as she came in. After greeting everyone and making sure they had drinks, Emma sat on the love seat that was now sat across from the sofa her parents were on.

Snow smiled warmly at her. “Emma, you look great. You’re practically glowing.”

Emma blushed and looked down. “Thanks. It’s probably because it’s so hot out.”

“Well, let’s get started.” Archie said as he flipped through his notebook. “Emma has given me permission to tell you both about her progress so far. She’s doing wonderfully. The detox, though she may tell you otherwise, went smoothly and our sessions have been the same. Sure, there were times she would rather I wasn’t there in the beginning, but she pushed through and dealt with me.” He said, chuckling. “During this time, we’ve dug up some deep-rooted issues that she needs your help with healing. What I need for everyone right now to understand is this is a judgment free zone; we will get no where if everyone has to worry about how their comments make them look. This is going to potentially be difficult and will make everyone take a deep look within themselves, but we all know why we’re here and why this is important.”

David gave a nod. “I’ll do anything I can to help you, Emma. I honestly feel like this should have been done long ago, but I never wanted to push. Now I see that I should have and I’m sorry.”

Emma sighed. “Dad, you don’t need to apologize. You’re right, I didn’t want to talk and if you would have pushed me, I can’t say it would have ended well.” She bit at her lip. “It’s hard for me, you know? There have been times where I had a nightmare or a memory or something and I wanted to talk, needed to, but the minute I’d start, you or mom would have this look of guilt and I hated that I put that there, so I would stop.”

Snow fussed a tissue in her hand and looked at her daughter. “What can we do to help you, Emma? Honestly and seriously, what can we do?”

Emma took a deep breath and Archie cleared his throat. “Emma, may I?” When she nodded, he looked at Snow and David. “It’s hard for Emma to say exactly what she needs. She’s discussed that with me and while there may be certain things she wants to hear; she doesn’t want you to say them just because she wants you to.” He then looked at Emma. “Emma, I think they’d benefit from hearing your story, hearing why you turned to the drugs. Can we start there?”

Everyone nodded and Emma took a deep breath. “At the time, I could tell you I had no idea why I started. Killian got into them and when I couldn’t help him, I joined him. He told me how great it was to not feel, to not have depressing thoughts for these brief moments, and honestly, that sounded so good to me, that I joined him. I’m not blaming him, because anyone who would have told me that would have gotten me started. Now, however, I know I started exactly for those reasons; to not feel and to not think. My whole life was one disappointment after another, and you never get rid of those memories. You never get rid of those voices telling you how worthless you are, how dirty you are, what kind of garbage you are. When I first came here, I was actually happy for the first time in my life. I felt so free, so…so **me** for the first time ever. I was on my own and people liked me. People actually liked me for once, and it was wonderful. I had a best friend who I could share anything with and not feel judged, I had my kid who, despite everything about me, wanted to spend time with me, I had the town standing behind me to be sheriff. It was wonderful and even bitchy Madam Mayor couldn’t take that away from me.

When the curse broke, everything changed. I found out about my past, my birth, my…what I saw as my abandonment. I lost my best friend and I lost my other friend to my mother. I…I was no longer Emma Swan, our new sheriff who we love, and was now Emma Swan, the Savior who broke the curse and is here to keep saving us no matter what. The town no longer saw me as one of them, but as the person who was supposed to save them. No longer did people come to me just to talk, just to see how I was; they came to me for help, to save them and if there wasn’t danger, they didn’t care about me at all. When we came back through the well, I found I went from being sheriff, to being your daughter. I get that someone had to step in while I was gone, but when I came back, everyone looked to you.” She said to her dad. “No one seemed to care that my position was taken from me, no one thought about what I had done in the last year. Even when I tried to do my job, I had to pass everything through you and why? Because you’re Prince Charming? No offense, but I had much more experience than you, but no one, not even you, seemed to stop and wonder how I felt about all of it. I had nothing. Then, the trip to Neverland really made me wonder if you even wanted to be my parents. I mean, you kept saying that you sent me away for my best chance, yet there was no question, no hesitation that you’d once again send me back to that world alone. I mean, I get you’re married and all that, but there was no question in picking your husband over your daughter again.” Emma felt the tears and took some deep breaths to stop them.

“I know there’s more, Emma, but let’s break at that.” Archie stated and looked at the couple. “If you two were to really dig deep, really think about it, would you still say that your only choice was to send Emma here all alone?”

“No.”

“Yes.”

David and Snow looked at each other. Snow wrinkled her brows. “How can you say no?”

“How can you say yes? Especially after knowing what she went through?” He looked at Emma. “I swear to you, baby girl, that if I were to go back and live through it again, I wouldn’t have sent you here no matter what. It wasn’t fair to sacrifice you for the rest of us, and I can see that now. It wasn’t ever fair on you, much less since you weren’t even born yet.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I’ve done a lot of thinking, Emma, a lot of soul searching, and I’ve come to realize that I’m sure it must seem like we picked everyone else over you. If that’s how you feel, you have a right to those feelings, but I can swear to you, that wasn’t what our thought process was.”

Snow looked down at her hands. “How can you say that? We had no other choice. Emma had to come here to break the curse.” She looked at Emma. “I hate what happened to you once you were here, please understand that, but we didn’t have another choice. We’d be cursed forever if we hadn’t.”

“Would we?” Emma asked. “I mean, whether I came here then, or came through with you, I’d still have been here. I’d have been safe and, even if you were cursed, I’d have still been wanted.”

“That wasn’t a choice we had.” Snow said, feeling frustrated. “I don’t get why you don’t understand that. You did the same thing with Henry when you put…”

“No, I didn’t.” Emma said pointedly. “I didn’t send him to an unknown world all alone just so he could come back later and wake me and my friends from a curse. I did my research and put him with the best adoption agency I could find. I knew he’d be staying in this realm; I knew they’d put him with someone good and they did. He had an amazing childhood. It wasn’t the same at all. You sent me off not knowing a thing about the world you were sending me to.”

“But we had to.” Snow said. “And I don’t know what you mean when you said you lost your best friend when the curse broke. I was still there, you just pushed me away.” Snow’s tone was defensive, but Emma had been expecting that.

“You were there, but not as a best friend. You didn’t want to be that anymore, you wanted to be a mother. A mother to a fully-grown woman who had been taking care of herself since she was fifteen, who didn’t need people her own age trying to tell her what to do, but still needed a friend.”

Snow sniffed, her nose a bit in the air. “Well, I’m sorry I’m not what you needed.”

Emma sighed and slumped down, blinking tears while David shook his head, knowing this was not what Emma needed to hear right now. He cleared his throat and looked at his daughter. “Emma, I’m sorry. For all of it. I can’t take it back, nor can I go back and change what I did, but I can tell you that I see your side of it. I see that we had another choice and again, I promise you that you mean more to us than anything.” He moved and knelt in front of Emma, taking her hands. “I’m so sorry that any of my actions ever made you feel not good enough. When you and your mother were sucked into the portal, I took charge because everyone looked at me to do so. The minute you came back, I should have just handed it back to you instead of saying I was co-sheriff. It was wrong of me and now I see why you just left so easily. You felt like you weren’t wanted or needed and that breaks my heart. I can’t speak for the town, Emma, but I can speak for me and I always wanted you, always needed you, I just didn’t know how to show it. I did wrong, and I’m so sorry.”

Emma hugged her dad, so grateful that he understood. She wished she could get her mother to, but she was happy with one parent. “Thank you, dad. I…I don’t want to keep beating a dead horse, so I’m taking your apology and moving on. It means so much to me that you understand where I’m coming from.” She sat back and took his hands. “Just so you know, I don’t want the sheriff job back. I have future plans so I’m happy for you to keep it.”

“This is all well and good, but can we please talk about what else you said? About Neverland?” Snow asked and Emma looked down, causing David to make a choice and sit by his daughter, his arm around her. Snow noticed but didn’t say anything about it. “You said that I had no hesitation in picking my husband over my daughter, correct?” Emma just nodded. “Did you ever stop to think that maybe that was because my husband actually wanted me around while my daughter clearly didn’t?”

Emma winced a bit, curling her legs up and hugging them to her chest. “Maybe that’s because I felt like I was never wanted, like I was always being tossed aside. I wanted you, mom, but I wanted less of being told what to do and more of being told I was loved.”

Snow stood up, causing all three to be surprised. “I think you’ve forgotten why we’re all here and in this situation. We’re here because you were throwing your life away on drugs, Emma.”

Archie held his hand out. “That’s enough.” Emma had never heard him sound so stern. “Snow, why are you being so defensive? Emma has not said she blames you, she’s not said anything to attack you; she’s simply expressed her feelings.”

“That’s not how it sounds to me.” She said, gathering her purse. “I’m not going to sit here and be blamed. I did the right thing, the only thing I could do, and I won’t be made to feel guilty for it.” She said and went to the door. “Are you coming, David?”

“No one is blaming you, Mom.” Emma said, tears in her eyes. “It was my choice; my actions and I know that. I’m just trying to explain the thoughts and feelings I was trying to numb.”

“I’m staying and I think you should too.” David said to Snow. “We told Emma we would support her and help her and leaving now, is not doing that.” He looked at Emma. “Can I just step out with your mother for a minute.” Emma nodded and David got up, walking out of the room with Snow.

Emma looked miserable and Archie felt bad for her. “Emma? Do you want to continue?”

“I don’t know anymore. Maybe this was a bad idea.” She sniffed and wiped her nose with a tissue. “She’s not wrong, it’s not her fault.”

“No, but in order to heal you, you have to get everything out. I just wonder if maybe we’ve done enough today.”

“I feel like I’m getting somewhere with my dad though. I don’t really want to stop if even just he stays.”

“Okay, that sounds fair.”

“Snow, what is going on? We came here to help Emma and you’re snapping at her. Do you really think that’s going to help?”

Snow deflated and closed her eyes. “I failed her.” She whispered, her throat restricting.

David hugged her. “Come on, Snow. She needs to hear this, no matter how much it hurts our pride.”

The two came in and Snow went right to Emma and hugged her. “I’m so sorry, my baby girl. I failed you before you were even born. I think I always knew it, but never wanted to admit it. I am so sorry, so, so sorry. I’m not trying to make excuses, but I guess once the curse broke and I realized I missed 28 years of your life and, because we were roommates, I knew your history, I wanted to be the mother you never had. I never thought about how to be the mother you needed. I was selfish so many times and I’m just so sorry.”

Emma felt her tears as she hugged her mother. “You didn’t fail, mom. I failed. I failed as a daughter, as a mother, as everything. I just…once I defeated the Black Fairy and my ‘job’ as Savior was done, I didn’t know who I was anymore. I wasn’t the Emma I used to be and loved, but I wasn’t the Savior either and if I wasn’t that, who wanted me? Even if I only felt wanted because I could ‘save’ people, at least I was wanted.”

David sat on the other side of Emma, both parents holding their daughter. “You’re wanted, Emma, so much.”

The three of them talked for another few hours, Archie moderating the conversation. Emma got out how she felt when she took the darkness, and again, Snow and David were able to admit that they didn’t handle that well either. Emma assured them her intentions were not to make them feel like failures or anything like that, only for them to understand where she was coming from. They got it, they really did, and in the end, everyone felt drained, but better. Arched told them this wouldn’t be the last session, but it was a very important one. When they were done, Emma excused herself, saying she was exhausted. “Regina will be home soon; you can go if you want. I love you guys, but I really need to lay down.”

“Of course.” David said, hugging his daughter.

“We love you, too.” Snow said, hugging Emma.

Emma thought she’d be asleep as soon as she laid in bed, but when she heard the three downstairs leave, she sighed, rolling on her back. Yes, she felt better about her relationship with her parents, but the talking still brought so much back. Sure, she told Archie she was fine, but was she? Maybe she should call him back. No, Regina would be home soon, she’d be okay. Besides, she needed to learn how to manage on her own. The blonde turned on her side and heard a noise from her pocket. She reached in and pulled out a baggie of familiar white powder. Damn it, he snuck it in there earlier. “Get rid of it. Just…get rid of it.” Emma told herself and did sit up, facing the bathroom. Then, she remembered Regina took the spell off the house and she knew where she could get everything she needed. Suddenly, her phone rang, and she answered it. “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me.” Regina said. “I’m so sorry, but I’m going to be another hour. Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine. Honestly, I was just going to take a nap. Take your time.” Emma wondered if Regina noticed her higher pitched voice, but closed her eyes, hoping she didn’t.

“You sure you’re okay? Something seems off.”

“I’m fine, really, just tired.”

“Okay, if you say so. I’ll see you soon.”

Emma hung up and gave nod. She still had the magical cuff, so she couldn’t use magic on herself, but she was able to leave. She quickly made her way to her house, knowing that there was one place her parents wouldn’t have looked when they came to clean up. She found what she needed and went to her room on her bed. She laid out everything and closed her eyes, trying to gather strength. She couldn’t though, she just couldn’t find it. She tied the elastic around her arm, prepared the powder and water and tapped the bubbles out. She found a vein right away and before she could stop herself, she shot up. Right away she knew something was wrong; something was different. She threw the needle down as her vision started blurring and got her phone out. After the first ring, it was answered. “Sorry Gina, I wasn’t strong.” She mumbled before she passed out.

Regina looked at her phone, panic rising in her chest. “Emma! Emma Swan, you answer me!” She yelled into it, tears in her eyes. “Damnit!” She ran out of her office. “I have to go.” On the way to her car, she called Archie. “What happened today?!”

“Regina? What’s wrong?”

“Emma! She called me and…Archie I think she’s done something stupid!” She explained the call and tried to keep her heart from pounding out of her chest.

“She was fine when we left, we had good breakthroughs and said she was just tired.” He sighed. “I should have stayed there; I never should have left her. Especially after what happened this morning.”

“What do you mean? What happened?” Archie told her about Emma’s old dealer and Regina sighed heavily. “Fuck. I never should have come into the office today. I have to go. I have to find her.” Regina said, hanging up the phone. She closed her eyes, taking deep breaths and focusing on Emma. Even if Emma had the cuff on, Regina could still sense her magic and in a moment, she appeared in Emma’s room, gasping. “Oh, Emma, what did you do?” She went to the blonde and felt for a pulse, glad there was one. However, there was no waking her up, so she called for an ambulance and the police.

David came along with Thomas just as the ambulance was leaving. Thomas looked at his boss. “Let me do what needs to be done here. You go to the hospital.”

David nodded. “Thank you.” He looked over and saw Regina. “Hey, need a ride?”

“Sure, thanks.” She said, coming over. “David, I’m so sorry.”

“For what? Regina, this wasn’t your fault. We shouldn’t have left her after the session. Sure, it was a good one, but it was still emotional.”

The two were quiet on the way to the hospital and as they waited in the waiting room. The nurse Samantha came out just as Snow got there. “Come on back so we can talk in private.”

The three made their way to a consultation room and sat down. “She had a relapse, that much is clear, but what isn’t clear is what was mixed with the heroine.”

“Mixed?” Snow asked. “She didn’t overdose?”

Sam shook her head. “No, she didn’t overdose. In fact, from what we can tell, she didn’t take much at all, but what she did take was tainted. I may be speaking out of place, but in my opinion, someone wanted to hurt her.”

“Her dealer.” Regina said, and told them the story she had heard from Archie. She looked at Samantha. “Does this start her all over again?”

“Not exactly. Yes, she’ll have a bit of detox, but because she’s here, it won’t be the same. We first need to figure what was mixed with the drug, so we know how to treat her.”

“I’ll call my deputy who is at the scene.” He stepped out to make the call.

“Is she going to be okay?” Snow asked, but before Sam could answer, David came back in.

“He’s bringing the baggie in. Will you be able to tell?”

Dr. Whale also stepped in. “Yes, we’ll get it to the lab. For now, we used Narcan which is usually for someone who OD’d on heroine, but it worked for her. She’s awake. She’s sick and embarrassed, but awake. And before anyone asks, she doesn’t want to see anyone yet and I have to respect her wishes. Give her time. Go home and give her time.”

Though no one actually wanted to, they did that. Regina called Henry and had him come home for the night. She held him as he cried and tried to explain to him that Emma was still doing well, she just had one set back. While he understood, he was still disappointed. “Who is her drug dealer?” He asked her, his fists clenched.

“She won’t tell anyone. I honestly don’t know. If I ever find out, he is in deep trouble.” She shifted and looked at him. “She needs our love, Henry. Our love and support.”

“I know. She’ll always have that from me.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As much as I love this story, it’s not one I want to drag out forever either. I think I got what I wanted to out, and I’m excited to wrap this one up. I hope you’ve enjoyed the journey.
> 
> Read~Enjoy~Review

**Chapter 6**

Emma was sicker than she had ever been before and she didn’t understand it. “Sam, I wasn’t even this sick before and I hardly took anything. I know what I did was wrong, and I deserve this, but honestly, it wasn’t this bad before.”

Sam rubbed Emma’s back. “You don’t deserve this, Emma. You made one mistake, that doesn’t mean you deserve anything bad. I think you’re sicker this time because the heroine was mixed with something else, and that something else is what’s making you sick.”

“Do you know what it was mixed with?”

“Not yet. Emma, you no longer have anything in your stomach. I know you’re sick, but I need you to try and eat something.”

“I can’t, Sam. Just the thought of eating makes me feel sicker.”

There was a knock on the door before Dr. Whale came in as Sam was helping Emma back into bed. “I’m sorry to bother you, Miss Swan, but I thought you’d want to know that we got the results back on what you took.” He came in and sat on the bed next to Emma. “Look, I’m going to be blunt because while you didn’t know the heroine was mixed with anything, you still took it and you need to understand how serious this is. You literally just got over your detox, which by the way, you worked so hard to do.”

Emma couldn’t even look at him as her eyes filled with tears. “I know. I’m sorry.” She said quietly, she honestly felt like she owed everyone in her life an apology.

Dr. Whale took a breath and opened his folder. “The heroine you took was mixed with rat poisoning. Honestly, you’re lucky to be here because it was more poison than heroine. Emma, we need to know who gave this to you because they are probably giving the same thing to others.”

Emma shook her head. “No, just me. He hates me and he’s mad at me for getting clean.”

Whale put his hand over Emma’s. “Then why protect him? Emma, he tried to kill you and he almost succeeded. If you hadn’t have called Regina, you wouldn’t be here right now.” He let out a breath. “Emma, I know I’m a doctor and I’m supposed to be professional here, but I’m going to get personal for a moment. We failed you; this town failed you. Emma, we didn’t see how badly we treated you and damn it, you’re important to us. Maybe your job of being a savior is technically done because the Black Fairy is gone, but that doesn’t mean your job of being Emma is done. Please, Savior, tell us who gave this to you so we can try and stop him from harming or selling drugs to others.”

Emma sniffed and wiped at her tears. “He’ll kill me.” She whispered. “Or he’ll go after Henry, or both. He’s told me that already.”

“He can’t if he’s locked up. Emma, think about those kids out there that are Henry’s age or possibly even younger, who could be going to him for drugs. What if you had a thirteen-year-old girl who met him, and he put on his charm and used her the way he used you?”

Emma put her head in her hands and then slid her fingers through her locks of hair. “You don’t play fair, Whale.”

Dr. Whale chuckled a bit at that. “Well, just so you know, it’s not just me asking.” He said and nodded towards the door where Thomas was standing.

Emma sighed as he came in and sat on the bottom of the bed. “Emma, I know you’re scared, and I do understand that, but we need to know who did this. We will have him not only for distributing drugs, but also attempted homicide on you and probably more. Please, please tell us who it is. I promise you that you and Henry will be protected.”

“Why isn’t my dad here?” Emma asked, quietly. “Isn’t he the sheriff?”

Thomas let out a breath, deciding to answer her and hope that she will eventually answer him. “He’s not here because he was told you didn’t want to see your family or Regina.”

“Yeah but…they all just listened? No one thought to just come anyway?” Emma had no idea why she should feel upset when they were all just doing what she had asked. 

“Not exactly.” Dr. Whale said. “They all left at first, but within the last forty-five minutes, our waiting room has become crowded with people worried about you. Your parents, Regina, Henry, Granny, Ruby, Maleficent, Lilly, Cora and Zelena and…am I missing anyone?” He asked Thomas.

Thomas started counting his fingers. “Oh, your brother was here too, but Ashley came and got him so he could get some sleep.”

Emma felt warmth inside her and couldn’t stop a small smile. “They came back? They…they still love me?”

“Yes, Emma, of course they do.” Dr. Whale said. “Emma…his name?”

Emma looked at Whale and then at Thomas. “It’s Will Scarlett.” She said quietly. “He along with some people from the Land of Untold Stories, though I don’t know who, I swear. I only had contact with him.” Emma told Thomas where she’d meet him and where he lived. 

Thomas wrote everything down and then smiled at Emma, putting his hand on her leg. “Thank you, Emma. And, for what it’s worth, I’m routing for you and I know you can beat this. You’re a good person, please believe that, and if you ever wanted to come back to the station, I’d be honored to work with you or for you, whatever you decide.”

Emma gave a small smile. “I’m not coming back to the station but thank you. That means so much to me.” As Thomas got up, Emma bit her lip. “Could you um…could you maybe see if my mom and dad will come in here? Oh, and tell Regina and Henry I’ll see them next?”

He smiled and gave a nod. “I will. Thanks again, Em. Oh, and hey, you take your time getting clean and healthy. We’re all here for you if you need anything.”

As he left, Dr. Whale got up and checked Emma’s IV. “The poison will take a bit to get out of your system, and you have to stay here because you’re not in the clear. It can potentially do damage, Emma, so we want to watch you closely. You may be going to the bathroom a lot, but that can’t be helped because we want to get this out of your system. Flushing it out with an IV and well…having you throw it up, is the best right now. I’m sorry.”

Emma sighed. “It’s okay. I deserve it.”

“No, you don’t, but that’s the way it is.” Dr. Whale smiled as he saw David and Snow come in. “I’ll leave you all alone now. Let me or Samantha know if you need anything.”

Emma looked at her parents and then looked down, feeling so ashamed. “I’m so sorry.” She said, feeling tears burn her eyes.

Snow came over as Samantha left the room and hugged her daughter, not letting go. “I’m sorry we left you. We shouldn’t have after our session.”

“It’s not your fault.” Emma said, feeling even more guilt. “I thought I was okay and honestly, I would have been if…ugh I have to stop blaming others, but the truth is, if Will hadn’t have come or even hadn’t have snuck the damn powder in my pocket, I would have been fine. But he did, and I found it, and I couldn’t stop myself. I’m sorry I’m so weak.” She said, sniffing and hating that she was once again crying. There was a time in her life that she had felt so strong, but lately, all she did was cry and she hated it.

David came over and sat on the other side of the bed, taking Emma’s hand. “Honey, you are not weak. You are one of the strongest people I know, Emma, and just because you had a step back, doesn’t make you weak. I do wish you would have told us what had happened before we came, but we’re not mad, upset, or disappointed. Yes, I admit when I heard what had happened, my first thought – after making sure you were okay – was that you had come so far to take a step back, but that doesn’t mean I was disappointed.”

“What about Regina? Is she mad at me? Does she not want me at her place anymore?” Emma asked, feeling like the person she let down the most was the one who was helping her the most.

“She feels guilty, but she’s not mad and yes, she wants to continue having you with her as you continue your rehab.” Snow stated, stroking Emma’s cheek. “Honey, no one is mad at you, not even Henry.”

Emma blew her nose and looked down. “I’m mad at me.” She said, her eyes once again filling with tears. “I was doing such a good job and I threw it away and for what? I don’t even know why I did it.” Emma sighed. “I’m sorry, I’m really tired suddenly and I still want to talk to Henry and Regina before I sleep.”

“That’s fine, honey.” David said, kissing Emma’s forehead. “We love you so much and please remember that we will always love you and will always be here.”

“We’re learning too, Emma, and we want to step it up for you.” Snow said. “Please don’t let this take you too far back.”

Emma wiped at her face with tissues as she waited for Regina and Henry to come in. She looked up and couldn’t stop smiling when she saw the bright smile of her son. He came over to her and hugged her tightly. “Oh, Henry. I’m so sorry.”

Henry shook his head and backed up, looking into her eyes as he cupped her face. “Ma, don’t apologize. I love you so much and I hate that this happened, but I’m so glad you’re still here and you’re still fighting. Don’t be sorry, just keep going forward.”

Emma sniffed and didn’t try to stop her tears. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”

“You’re my Ma.” Henry said simply. “I know that if the roles were reversed, you’d be saying the same thing to me.”

“Yes, but please don’t follow my footsteps, Henry. Please don’t. I would honestly hate myself so much if you did. I’d love you, always, but…”

“Don’t worry, Ma. I’d have to be an idiot to do this after seeing someone so strong like you go through it.” Henry hoped those were the right words and that Emma didn’t take it the wrong way. “I’m not saying you’re an idiot, I just…”

“You just know the consequences and you’re learning from my mistakes. I get it. I love you so much.” Emma said and pulled Henry to her to hug him.

Zelena knocked and came in. “I’m so sorry to interrupt, but Henry, if you’re coming with me, I do have to go soon. Robyn wants her mama.”

“I’m sorry, Zelena.” Emma said, feeling a new wave of guilt. “I appreciate you letting Henry stay with you through all this.”

“Don’t you feel guilty, Emma.” Zelena said, coming over and giving her a hug. “You take all the time you need. I love having my nephew over and I want you to get through this without having to worry about anything else. Now, I have something for you, and then I’m really sorry, but I have to go.” She said, putting a stack of cards on the bed. “People love you and want you to know. No matter what, you’re our Savior and now is our time to be your supporters. You don’t have to open these now.”

Emma said goodbye to Henry and Zelena and then put the stack of cards on the table by her bed. She then looked at Regina and bit her lip. “I’m sorry.”

Regina cleared her throat and sat next to the bed. Yes, she wanted to hug Emma and tell her that everything was okay, but the truth was, everything was not okay. “Emma, I have something I have to say and I’m sorry if it’s going to hurt you.” She watched Emma curl her legs up and fold into herself and felt a little guilty, but she had to be honest. She had talked to Archie about this and he had urged her to do this. “Emma, I’m not mad at you, but I need to be honest. You scared me. Oh boy did you scare me. I have watched you fight to clean yourself of these toxins, watched as you got so sick, been there with you through the headaches, body aches, chills, and much worse. I have watched you pick yourself up and put yourself back together. When you called me and said you weren’t strong, my heart sunk and I was so scared that we were losing you. Emma, when I found you and you were out, I was so scared you were dead.” Regina let her tears show, her fears and vulnerability. “I know you’re fighting so much, Emma and I know it’s not easy, but you scared the shit out of me. You have worked too damn hard to let it all go to waste. I can’t be with you twenty four seven, Emma, not physically, but I just don’t get why you didn’t call me? Call Archie, your parents, anyone. Emma, we’re all here and it honestly makes me so sad that you didn’t feel you could reach out to anyone before you took the drugs.” Regina took a breath. “I’m not trying to yell at you, honey, I just need you to know how much you mean to us. How scared I was. How scared we all were. We all love you so much, hell, I love you, Emma. I know this isn’t the time, but I can’t help it. I love you and I do not want to lose you and I do not want to find you like that ever again. It hurt and I’m not trying to make this about me, but damn it, seeing you like that was the worst thing I’ve ever seen. It shattered me more than anything else I’ve seen in my life. Please, Emma, please don’t make me ever see that again.”

Emma sniffed and wiped at her eyes as she cried, hugging her pillow. “I’m sorry, Regina. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what else to say or how to fix this. I can’t turn back time, but I wish I could. I wish I would have told you what was happening but you were working and I didn’t want to bother you. I know now that I should have reached out to anyone, I just wasn’t thinking, Regina. I’m so sorry. Please don’t hate me, I couldn’t take it.”

Regina moved, sitting on the side of the bed and taking Emma’s hands. “Did you hear me, Emma? I don’t hate you, I couldn’t hate you. I hate what you did, but I love you, Emma Swan.”

Emma sniffed and looked at Regina, blinking her tears. “Wait…when you say you love me, do you mean like a friend? Because I’m feeling like it’s more than that.”

“It’s so much more, and I know this is so not the right time, but I almost lost you and I feel the need to let you know.”

“Is that why you’re helping?”

“I’m helping for so many reasons, Emma, but I don’t want you to think you have to have any feelings back just because I’m helping.”

“Regina I…” Emma sighed, trying to make her tired brain focus. “I’ve loved you for so long. I just never thought you’d…and then Robin came and Killian and I just figured…well honestly, I figured I wasn’t good enough. But I have loved you since the first time I set eyes on you. Maybe this isn’t the right time, maybe this isn’t what either of us should be focusing on but…but maybe I needed to hear that, and maybe you did too.”

The two sat in the bed and talked and talked until Emma was falling asleep sitting up. “I should go, Emma. You’re exhausted.”

“Don’t go.” Emma said and scooted over in the bed. “Please, I don’t want to be alone.”

Regina gave a nod and lay in the bed, holding Emma. Maybe it wasn’t the right time to tell her, but maybe Emma was right. Maybe it was what they both needed.

**One Year Later**

“CONGRATULATIONS! HAPPY ONE YEAR SOBER!”

Emma smiled as she came into Granny’s to the cheers, banners, and smiling faces. This party was supposed to be a secret, but it didn’t exactly surprise the blonde. In the last year, things had changed so much for Emma that nothing her friends and family did surprised her anymore. Emma had been one year clean, one year sober, and one year happier. She worked hard in her therapy, worked on herself, worked on her relationship with her family and her friends. She also worked on her relationship with Regina and the two were nearly inseparable. Emma never did move out of the mansion, but she did move to Regina’s room when Henry came back. She and Regina went once a month to couples therapy and the two were stronger than ever. It had been a difficult shift from caretaker/patient to partners, but the two had done it and Archie had said a few times that he’d never seen a love so strong.

“Thanks everyone. This means so much to me.” Emma said, giving a round of hugs. It was true, and they all knew it. Once Emma finally realized she had a support system, she used it. Almost everyone from the ‘original’ Storybrooke had written her little notes or cards telling her what she meant to them and giving her encouragement and those meant more to Emma than she ever thought they would. Her and Maleficent had quite a few deep heart to heart talks as Mal had gone through her own addiction and Emma felt a kindred spirit with her. Emma and Lilly were better friends than ever and Emma and her parents were stronger than Emma ever thought possible.

Emma had gone to court against Will and was surprised when he got charged with attempted murder because of his laced drugs. She wasn’t dumb though, she knew that even if Will was locked up, there were others out there. That was one thing she taught at the Youth Center; how to avoid drug dealers and how to sense them and their lies.

The Swan Youth Center was going strong as well. Emma had a passion for it and everyone could see that it was her calling. She was finally able to open it six months ago and since then, the youth crime rate went way down, grades in the schools went up, and troubled kids now felt they had a safe place to go and get help they needed. Emma had also started schooling to get her own degree in psychology and Archie helped her with that as well. Regina had lost track of how many families the Swan Youth Center had helped and she couldn’t be more proud of the blonde.

“Sorry I’m late.” Regina said as she came in the door with Henry. “He takes longer than I do to get ready.”

Henry came over and hugged Emma. “Happy one year, Ma. I’m so proud of you.”

Emma hugged him back and kissed his cheek. “Thanks, kid. You know, this was all thanks to you. You were my number one motivation. Just don’t tell your mother that.”

Regina smirked. “Oh, I know that.” She said, kissing Emma’s cheek. “I’m so proud of you, dear.”

Emma smiled. “Thank you.” Though she usually hated attention, Emma felt so proud of this moment, so she took the compliments and congratulations – she did earn them.

After the dinner, Emma mingled more and then looked around with a smile on her face. Granny, Ruby, Cora, Maleficent, and Zelena were all at the bar laughing and talking with each other. Snow, Charming, and Neal were with Lilly as Neal was showing off his new little dance moves – and flirting with Lilly, which was adorable. Henry was talking with Archie, Thomas, and Ashley and as Emma continued to look, she realized these were her people, her system, her family. They were the reasons she was now a year clean. Them and Regina, of course.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Regina asked, slipping into the booth next to Emma.

Emma took a deep breath and smiled as she let it out. “Just thinking about how lucky I am. My whole life all I wanted was a family. I look around now and I see I’ve had one for so long but didn’t realize it. I realize it now and I will never take it for granted.”

Regina kissed Emma and slid a wrapped package on the table. “We love you, Emma, and we’re all so proud of you. I got you something.”

Emma smiled. “You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“Well, it’s really from Henry, but he asked me to give it to you. I think he was afraid you’d embarrass him.”

This had Emma intrigued. She opened it and pulled out the folding frame, still confused as to what this was. She unfolded it and tears instantly were in her eyes. On one side was the original letter Henry had written her, begging her to get help. On the other, was a new letter, one that Emma hadn’t seen before.

_Ma,_

_One year. One amazing year. You did it, Ma! I know we still go day to day, but you made it a year and you should be so proud. I’m proud. I’m so proud of you, Ma. You’ve not only stayed clean a year, but you’ve also grown so much. You’ve learned how to open yourself, make yourself vulnerable, trust others, lean on others, and most importantly, you’ve learned what family is. A year ago, I was so scared I’d be saying goodbye to you while you lay in a coffin. I know I never said that to you, but it’s true. I was so scared we’d be burying you and you’d only ever have known a life of pain. But, you showed how fucking strong you are and you came through this. (Don’t yell at me, mom, it was the only word that worked there). I can’t honestly tell you just how proud of you I am. If someone were to ask me who my hero is, it would be you. It was always you, ma, with mom coming in a very close second. You’re both heroes and you’re both amazing, but Ma, thank you. Thank you so much for getting help and for fighting to have a life. I love you so much, and I always will._

_Love,_

_Henry_

Emma wiped her face with a napkin, got up and went to Henry, giving him a bone crushing hug. “I love you so much, kid. You have no idea how much your words mean to me.”

He blushed, but hugged her back. “Probably as much as you mean to me, Ma.”

Emma took a deep breath and then looked around, everyone growing quiet as they noticed. “I just want to thank all of you for being here. Not just for today, but through all of this. I honestly couldn’t have done this without you, and I thank you so much for all you’ve done. Your support means everything to me and well…I love all of you. Thank you so much.” She looked at her parents. “I was so mad the day of the intervention, but I’m so thankful you all did it. I just…thank you for showing me that I do mean something to all of you.”

The group all smiled and lifted glasses. “To Emma!”


End file.
